


Junko Is A Regina George And Heather Chandler Kinnie, NGL

by yeet_all_the_thots



Series: Danganronpa Chatfics From Hell [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: #KaomojisForLife2020, (Protagonist voice) NO THAT'S WRONG, (Throws Confetti), :(, :), :))))), :D, All because of them, All the time, Also Izuru is ace/aro, And his adopted children, Angie Loves Atua, Asexual Character, Atua - Freeform, Bullying, Cause he loooooooves him, Chewing On Phones, Chiaki is narcoleptic, Don't Ask Questions, Entomophobia, Especially In This Fandom, Everyone (including Komaru) adopted the warriors of hope, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone goes, Except Byakuya, F/F, F/M, Gay, He knows your secrets, Help These Disaster Gays, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Hope's Peak Academy, Human Experimentation, I, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Love Everyone Okay, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I don't have a beta I'm just, I don't like her, I have it!, I kinda struggle writing her, I know this is a weird tag for a Danganronpa fic but uh, I make the rules, I mean he dies a lot, I will go down with these ships, I won't change it, I'll try harder, I'm asking for a friend I swear, I'm giving it to characters!, I'm suffering!, If you're transphobic Izuru will steal your kneecaps, In literally every way possible, It was either that or 420 and that seemed like a bit too lofty of a goal, It's all funky fresh, It's more of Junko encouraging her, Izuru only shows emotion for Hajime, J K Rowling Bashing, Kamukura Izuru Is Bad At Feelings, Killing Game Was A Virtual Reality Simulation (Dangan Ronpa), Kokichi and Shuichi have entomophobia, Komaru and Yuta are just popping in from time to time, Like Hiyoko, Like as a tag, Like more than half the entire cast, Lol yeah fuck Shuichi's parents, M/M, Makoto Shuichi and Izuru: Local Cryptids Terrifying Bystanders, Makoto knows everyone and their mum, Misgendering, NEVER emojis, Naegi Makoto Is a Little Shit, Narcolepsy, Nervous Saihara Shuichi, No emojis, Non-Despair Enoshima Junko, Nonbinary Fujisaki Chihiro, Not Everyone Has A Ship, Not beta read we die like, Oh hell ya emotional whiplash in the tags, Oh no I've given them update standards, Oma spelled Ouma, Oral Fixation, Panta - Freeform, Pranks, Prankster Naegi Makoto, Prankster Ouma Kokichi, References galore, Ryota x Imposter is so friggin cute I, SDR2 is still second years, Sad Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi Needs a Hug, She's angry, She's just an ass sometimes, So is Himiko - Freeform, Taeko Yasuhiro is her dead name k, That's not spoilers for Hades is it??, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The smallest itsiest bitsiest touch of angst, They have The Trauma TM, They made Shuumai cry, They're the bane of my existence tbh, They're unique little shits, They/Them Pronouns for Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter, This fic isn't dumb I swear, Tired Saihara Shuichi, Trans Celestia Ludenberg, Trans Hinata Hajime, Trans Naegi Makoto, Trans Saihara Shuichi, Trauma!, Tsumiki and Junko's relationship is not toxic!!, V3 and Trigger Happy Havoc are first years, Wait yeah I do, We ain't cishet, We do not stan Korekiyo's sister in this household, Well - Freeform, What even is heterosexuality, Who cares this isn't a Hades work, Why isn't that a tag tho, Writing this right before posting, Yeah that's right, Yeah you saw that chapter limit, You have it!, You'll just have to endure memes and the occasional pun, You're telling me that's not a tag either???, also, but for now, cause, chatfic, depends on you guys, does that count, eh, everyone is, i don't make the rules, i love my lesbian children, in their own way, it's a problem, kamukura, kokichi has heterochromia, maybe more? - Freeform, mentions of it at least, minor Transphobia, minor though, my b, no beta we die like zagreus, no one's safe, not in this household, so uh, uhhhh, whoops, why isn't that a tag, y'know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 58
Words: 27,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26864122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeet_all_the_thots/pseuds/yeet_all_the_thots
Summary: Tech Bean: You ever find it weird that I'm older than my dads?SHSL Dumbass: Y'all're WHAT
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Amami Rantaro/Shinguji Korekiyo, Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter/Mitarai Ryota, Enoshima Junko/Tsumiki Mikan, Everyone & Everyone, Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru, Gokuhara Gonta/Hoshi Ryoma, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, Mioda Ibuki/Owari Akane, Naegi Makoto & Everyone, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Nanami Chiaki/Sonia Nevermind, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Shirogane Tsumugi/Tojo Kirumi
Series: Danganronpa Chatfics From Hell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959796
Comments: 267
Kudos: 1023





	1. Chapter 1

**Chihiro Fujisaki** has created a chat room

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** has added several people

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** has changed the chat name to " **Heteros Can't Explain This One** "

**Junko Enoshima** : WHAT'S UP FUCKERS

 **Aoi Asahina** : WHY'S SHE HERE???

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** : Good question

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** has kicked **Junko Enoshima** from **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Reason** : HOPE WILL ALWAYS TRIUMPH OVER DESPAIR!

 **Makoto Naegi** : Is this just our class, or...?

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** : For now, just us! Feel free to add anyone else though! \\(≧▽≦)/

 **Mondo Oowada** : Bro?

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru** : Bro!

 **Mondo Oowada** : Bro!

 **Sayaka Maizono** : Uh

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** : Don't question the bond of bros

 **Sayaka Maizono** : 

**Sayaka Maizono** : M'kay then.

 **Yasuhiro Hagakure** : Man, these usernames are boring

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** : :)

 **Makoto Naegi** : I feel threatened

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** : :)))

 **Chihiro Fujisaki** has changed several names!

 **Bike Dad** :

 **Rule Dad** : 

**Rule Dad** : I feel honored

 **Tech Bean** : You ever find it weird that I'm older than my dads?

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Y'all're WHAT

 **Cries In Gucci** : What is this?

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Cries In Gucci** has left **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Tech Bean** has added **Cries In Gucci** to **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Tech Bean** : No escape

 **Sherlock Holmes** : 

**Sherlock Holmes** : I find my username both befitting and unimaginative.

 **Egg** : I don't even want to know about mine

 **Egg** : But

 **Egg** has added **Komaru Naegi** to **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Komaru Naegi** : Makoto what's this?

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : Omaru?

 **Komaru Naegi** : Toko!!!! Hi!!!!

 **Kakegurui** : Truly, love knows no bounds

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Huh?

 **Sherlock Holmes** : She means it was amusing when Naegi's sister recognised Toko despite the strange username.

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Huh?

 **Sherlock Holmes** : ...Nevermind.

 **Tech Bean** has changed **Komaru Naegi** 's username

 **Egg Lesbin** : Okay fair-

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Wait we're missing a lot of our classmates

 **Kakegurui** : Have you just now noticed this? Your title is fitting indeed.

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Uh, ouch?

 **Egg** : It's getting kinda late, guys

 **Egg Lesbin** : Yeah, it is! Night night Makoto!

 **Egg** : Goodnight, Komaru

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : See you, Omaru.

 **Tech Bean** : See you in the morning, guys!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riza Hawkeye: Junko has sworn she won't be too much of a pain if you allow her back in
> 
> Riza Hawkeye: Well, her phrasing was much more colorful, but you get the point.
> 
> Sugino Tomohito: Doubtful
> 
> Tech Bean: Tell her three strikes and she's out until winter break

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:47 PM**

**Riza Hawkeye** : Junko has sworn she won't be too much of a pain if you allow her back in

 **Riza Hawkeye** : Well, her phrasing was much more colorful, but you get the point.

 **Sugino Tomohito** : Doubtful

 **Tech Bean** : Tell her three strikes and she's out until winter break

 **Riza Hawkeye** : She has agreed, albeit very reluctantly. She demands you allow Izuru in as well, which would mean Hajime by default.

 **Tech Bean** : ...Deal.

 **Tech Bean** has added **Junko Enoshima** and one other

 **Junko Enoshima** : Oh hell to the fuck yeah! Gimme a nickname!

 **Tech Bean** : KK

 **Tech Bean** has changed two usernames

 **Katy Perry** : ...

 **Katy Perry** : Why?

 **Tech Bean** : Y'know, cause you and Izzy are opposites? Hot and cold? Yes and no?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Gotta say, I am low-key loving this username

 **Rule Dad** : Welcome back to the chat, Enoshima-san!

 **Egg** : Oh, hello, Enoshima. I didn't realise Fujisaki let you back in?

 **Egg Lesbin** : So we're ignoring the fact that Leon is called Sugino Tomohito? Meaning that our very own Chihiro Fujisaki is an Ass Class fan?

 **Tech Bean** : Heck yeah I am! I almost share a B-day with Korosensei too! March fourteenth, to be exact.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Woah, cool! 

**Egg Lesbin** : Wait, you're one of the oldest kids?? My?? Entire world view?? Has been shattered??

 **Katy Perry** : I must leave. Nagito has requested my presence. ...And change my nickname. Please, Makoto.

 **Egg** : Okay, bye Izuru!

 **Egg** has changed **Katy Perry** 's username

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**5:17 PM**

**Coca Cola** : gUYS

 **Monch** : What??

 **Coca Cola** : GUESS WHAT I JUST MADE (With a bit of Miu's help)

 **Oramge Juimce** : What?

 **Coca Cola** : {FirbyButPerson.JPG}

 **Oramge Juimce** :

 **The OG Gaymer** : 

**Monch** : Is it edible?

 **Coca Cola** : !!!

 **Coca Cola** : That!! Is!! My!! Son!!

 **Coca Cola** : Don't eat my eldest spawn!

 **Oramge Juimce** : I'm simultaneously disappointed yet proud...

 **#Hope4President2020** : What a hope filled creation! 

**#Hope4President2020** : Trash like me is unworthy of such ingeniousness!

 **Oramge Juimce** deleted one message

 **Oramge Juimce** : Don't talk down about yourself!! >:(((

 **#Hope4President2020** : Sorry :(

 **Oramge Juimce** : Just don't do it again, okay? 

**#Hope4President2020** : Alright.

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI SAYS YOU TWO NEED TO GET A ROOM!!! PDA!!!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Hfksgfkakshshduiwlslsklsjs

 **The OG Gaymer** : Why did Hajime just throw his phone and run out of his dorm with his head in his hands?

 **The OG Gaymer** : ...Oh

 **Princess Peach** : Nagito has curled into a small ball! He is in great distress!

 **Coca Cola** : It's just a common case of The Gay Panic™

 **The Four Dark Devas Of Destruction** : I require assistance! Does anyone know the whereabouts of Fuyuhiko? Soda, your presence would be a welcome blessing as well.

 **Coca Cola** : Fuyu and I are chilling in my dorm room, while he curses out my beautiful child. He chased Miu out a while ago, so we're on our way!

 **The OG Gaymer** : One of these days...

 **Princess Peach** : What?

 **The OG Gaymer** : One of these days, everyone will stop being so oblivious...

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI SAYS YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE

 **The OG Gaymer** : ...What?

 **The OG Gaymer** : ...Anyways, are we still up for Mario Kart this weekend? I already have Hajime and Nagito's confirmations, so no worries there.

 **Princess Peach** : I'll be sure to come! I'm positive it'll be hella boss!

 **Coca Cola** : Gundham and I are coming too! Fuyu and Peko are both maybes.

 **The OG Gaymer** : Cool... I'm gonna go take a nap...

 **Princess Peach** :Good night, Chiaki!


	3. Chapter 3

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:59 AM**

**Egg** : You

 **Egg** : You know when your brain just says,,,

 **Egg** : No sleep,,,

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:32 AM**

**Rule Dad** : Naegi! Why were you awake at such an early time? Lack of sleep is not healthy!

 **Egg** : :/

 **Tech Bean** : Lol same

 **Tech Bean** : I was up working on my project for the festival until like... Now

 **Rule Dad** :

 **SHSL Dumbass** : I think you broke him

 **Egg Lesbin** : Why're you guys up so earlyyyyyy

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : Because our class starts in a half hour, idiot

 **Hatsune Miku** : Don't you and Naegi live together? You are siblings, right?

 **Egg** : Maizono, I live in the dorms 

**Hatsune Miku** : Wait fr

 **Egg** : :(

 **Sugino Tomohito** : F

 **Egg Lesbin** : F

 **SHSL Dumbass** : F

 **Bike Dad** : F

 **Tech Bean** : F

 **Egg** : :((((

 **Hatsune Miku** : Sorry! I thought you were a walker like me, just... Really punctual.

 **Egg** : I'm wounded, but also kinda complimented you thought I was athletic enough to walk to Hopes Peak every morning?

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph. Plebes and their pointless struggles.

 **Tech Bean** : U say that like ur not letting Naegi lay down his head in ur lap

 **Cries In Gucci** has left **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Tech Bean** has added **Cries In Gucci** to **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Tech Bean** has locked **Cries In Gucci** in **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

Reason: U must suffer 2 Togami

 **Egg Lesbin** : Mood

 **Cries In Gucci** : 

**Rule Dad** : Class starts very soon everyone! I expect you to be on time and put your phones away so you can walk safely!

 **Tech Bean** : Ok dad

 **Bike Dad** : Ok Taka

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : You losers have class today?

 **Rule Dad** : Enoshima-san, you have class too!

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Nope! See ya later, fuckers!

 **Rule Dad** : Enoshima-san! 

**Riza Hawkeye** : Don't worry, we're simply headed out of town for one of Junko's photoshoots.

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party** **!** : Aww, Muks, you ruined my fun! ):

 **Egg** : Why you gotta do your faces like that tho

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : (: (: (: (:

 **Cries In Gucci** : This greatly displeases me. Cease this behavior immediately.

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (; (; (; (; (; (; (; (;

 **Egg** : Ew

 **Rule Dad** : Class! Now!

 **Egg** : Okay :(

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:03 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : On a scale of 1-10, how chaotic is your class

 **The Detective Ahogay** : 11

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Cause of Ouma?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Cause of Ouma.

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Mood but with Nagito

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Junko's been surprisingly tame if I'm being honest

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Huh. Guess I should go look for flying pigs then

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Fair-

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Do you guys wanna hangout at the festival? Unless you've got a stand to man, of course

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : So long as I can bring Nagito, I'm game

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I'd like to bring Ouma, if that's alright

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : That's fine! I was gonna bring Togami anyways :P

 **The Book Ahogay** : Nice of you to include us

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : It's fine Toko! We were gonna go together, remember?

 **The Book Ahogay** : Still rude

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : You two are invited too! It wouldn't be an Ahogay Hangout™ without you!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Speaking of which, why isn't Kaede here? She's an Ahogay too

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Bold of you to assume I'm not

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Hakfksgdosjdjdiskf

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Did you really just kill Shuichi

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Wait no

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : I can't believe you've done this

 **The Piano Ahogay** : It was an accident!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blues Clues: They're visiting Gundham's animals! He and Gonta are best buds
> 
> Blues Clues: It's kinda adorable

**We Make Too Many References**

**4:20 PM**

**The Science Show! Piano!** : Why did I just see Kaito run by the dorms screaming at the top of his lungs?

 **The Entire Circus** : Wouldn't you like to know, Kayayday!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Hdlahfkskjakfhs

 **Blues Clues** : Uh

 **Blues Clues** : Dude are you alright?

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : WHY DID YOU DO THIS

 **Blue** **s Clues** : Do what?

 **Ultimate Mom Friend** : What is the matter?

 **The Entire Circus** : Nishishishishi! He finally found it!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : I'm hesitant to ask, but found what?

 **Daedalus** : WHERE IS MY SON

 **The Science Show** **! Piano!** : I'm sorry what

 **Daedalus** : {FurbyButHuman.JPG}

 **Daedalus** : SODA AND I CREATED HIM, WE GAVE HIM LIFE

 **Daedalus** : WHERE DID YOU TAKE HIM YOU MONSTER

 **The Entire Circus** : I did nothing! I think Kaito took it, better check his dorm~

 **Blues Clues** : Ko, why'd you steal it and put it in Kaito's room

 **The Entire Circus** : Sharp as ever Shuumai! I'm very unimpressed!

 **The Entire Circus** : But that's a lie! Good job~

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Maki, please go get Kaito, I'll deal with Kokichi and Miu.

 **You're A Big Spoon? I'm A knIFE** : Of course.

 **The Entire Circus** : That's your cue, Shuumai! Open the window!

 **Blues Clues** : Huh? Why should I open the wi

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Oh is he dead again

 **Daedalus** : Again?

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Shuichi are you alive

 **Blues Clues** : I am alive and normal! No worries here!

 **The Entire Circus** : JOKES ON YOU

 **Blues Clues** : sHIT

 **Blues Clues** : I'm back

 **The Entire Circus** : Shuumai!! So mean!!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : ...Moving on, we have one more issue

 **Blues Clues** : What else?

 **Ultimate Mom Friend** : It is a most urgent matter. Gonta and Hoshi are both missing.

 **The Entire Circus** : Nishishishishi~

 **Blues Clues** : Wait he didn't tell you?

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Tell us what?

 **Blues Clues** : They're visiting Gundham's animals! He and Gonta are best buds

 **Blues Clues** : It's kinda adorable

 **Blues Clues** : If any one of you mess their day up I will end you

 **The Entire Circus** : Woah there Shuumai! 

**Blues Clues** : Sorry, Gonta's just been looking forward to this for a while. Still kinda shocked none of y'all knew

 **Daedalus** : Y'all

 **The Entire Circus** : Y'all

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Y'all

 **You're A Big Spoon? I'm A knIFE** : Y'all

 **Ultimate Mom Friend** : Y'all

 **Blues Clues** : Wh

 **Blues Clues** : Maki and Tojo too?? I'm hurt :(

 **Blues Clues** : Stop bullying me pls :(((

 **The Entire Circus** : Only for my beloved Shuumai!

 **Blues Clues** : hfhsgdjgkshk thankk

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Look what you've done! We just got him back now he's dead for a third time!

 **The Entire Circus** : (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Did anyone notice it's weed time tho

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**5:37 PM**

**The OG Gaymer** : Is everyone ready for Mario kart tomorrow?

 **#Hope4President2020** : Of course! Hajime and I are sure to attend! It's going to be full of hope!

 **The OG Gaymer** : Speaking of hope, I invited the other SHSL Hope, Naegi

 **The OG Gaymer** : He's bringing another person, Fujisaki. Apparently they're the cutest person ever, as well as a tech geek, so it was a necessity.

 **#Hope4President2020** : !!

 **Oramge Juimce** : What's happening? Nagito just ran into the room and shouted hope at the top of his lungs

 **Oramge Juimce** : Oh, Makoto and Fujisaki are coming? Cool.

 **Coca Cola** : You know them?

 **Oramge Juimce** : I'm closer to Makoto, but Fujisaki is an acquaintance of sorts.

 **Monch** : We're having snacks, right?

 **The OG Gaymer** : Yup

 **Cooking Mama** : Provided by me, of course!

 **Oramge Juimce** : I gotta go make Nagito and I dinner. Ttyl

 **Princess Peach** : Aww, you're like a married couple! What a sweet romance!

 **Oramge Juimce** :

 **#Hope4President2020** :

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI THINKS YOU EMBARRASSED THEM

 **The OG Gaymer** : Astute observation, Ibuki.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Egg: Celeste, last time we played monopoly Nagito and I went up against you and our luck made you lose and they still haven't finished paying for the damages from the explosion and the fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low-key really want to either write/read a story where Hajime/Izuru are inhabiting the same body (Sometimes peacefully, sometimes not; like the story Bad Days on FF) and everything's pretty much the same except Hinata can hear Izuru's voice/gets swapped with him occasionally, but the main difference would be the role reversal: Hajime Hinata has Nagito Komaeda's illnesses  
> Might sound kinda boring, I dunno, it'd be KomaHina obviously, but I don't think I'm good enough of a writer to actually pull that off :(

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**7:06 PM**

**Tech Bean** : Hey, Taka? I'm not gonna be able to go to your study session tomorrow, sorry. Kinda late notice, I know.

 **Rule Dad** : It's perfectly alright so long as you have a valid reason!

 **Tech Bean** : I'm going to the upperclassmen's Mario Kart party

 **Egg** : Fujisaki's my plus one! They've gotten permission from Chiaki and everything!

 **Rule Dad** : Very well! Have fun on your outing, Fujisaki! And be safe!

 **Tech Bean** : I will dad

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Aww, what a sweet father and children dynamic

 **Bike Dad** : Betrayed... By my own family...

 **Rule Dad** : Wait! Bro!

 **Bike Dad** : It's too late, bro... I know the truth now...

 **Rule Dad** : Bro!!

 **Bike Dad** : Just fucking with ya! Ily Taka <3

 **Rule Dad** : !! <3 !! I return your feelings, bro!!

 **Tech Bean** : Did,,, did y'all just confess over text

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Wait they weren't dating?

 **Sherlock Holmes** : No, they were merely pining after each other. A rather pitiful sight, if I do say so myself.

 **Tech Bean** : So I just saw Mondo and Taka run out of their dorm rooms and do a dramatic hug outside my window

 **Tech Bean** : Like, I'm happy for them ofc, but ur making out,,, in front of my petunias,,,

 **Egg** **Lesbin** : Rip your petunias

 **Oramge Juimce** : I could ask Izuru to return their innocence next time he's awake? I'm sure he's got that talent in there somewhere.

 **Egg** : Haaaaaaaaaaaaajjjjjjjjjjjjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Oramge Juimce** : ...What?

 **Egg** : You just haven't been on for a while is all! Nice to see you dude (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

 **Oramge Juimce** : Nice to see you too, Makoto. 

**Egg** : I just realised, we have all the Ahogays here except for Shuichi!

 **Oramge Juimce** : !!Hhhhh you're right!!

 **Egg** has added **Saihara Shuichi** to **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Saihara Shuichi** : Oh hello Makoto, Hajime, Komaru, Toko, Celeste, Togami, Fujisaki, Kirigiri-sempai, and everybody else

 **Cries In Gucci** : How does it feel to be reduced to an "everybody else" you plebes

 **Oramge Juimce** : Hey Shuichi

 **Oramge Juimce** : Would you be up for a game of Mario Kart tomorrow? With the rest of my class + Makoto and Fujisaki?

 **Saihara Shuichi** : I dunno if that's the best idea

 **Saihara Shuichi** : If I come, Ouma'll see me leaving and demand to come too

 **Sherlock Holmes** : You have a window do you not?

 **Egg** : Damn Kiri really did just say "Jump the window coward" 

**Tech Bean** has changed **Saihara Shuichi** 's username

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : 

**Detective Conan Fanboy** : _How the hell did you know_

 **Tech Bean** : ;)

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I just got chills down my back, ngl

 **Riza Hawkeye** : Junko where are you

 **Egg** : Is she missing?

 **Riza Hawkeye** : Yes. She was supposed to be waiting in the hotel for when I got back with groceries, but now she's gone

 **Egg Lesbin** : Rest in pieces my fellow lesbin

 **Riza Hawkeye** : I will be in literal pieces if Junko misses her last photoshoot tomorrow

 **Riza Hawkeye** : Anyways, I shall go search for her. So long.

 **Kakegurui** : Anyone want to play a round of monopoly while we wait for this situation to reach it's climax?

 **Egg** : Celeste, last time we played monopoly Nagito and I went up against you and our luck made you lose and they _still_ haven't finished paying for the damages from the explosion and the fire

 **Oramge Juimce** : ?? What?? The actual fuck??

 **Egg** : Just... No monopoly.

 **Tech Bean** has changed **Egg** 's username

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Fair enough

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Hold on guys, someone's at my door and I'm pretty sure it's Ouma, so I'll be right back

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Ouma? You mean the one that's like a purple Celeste?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : That's the one

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I think he's breaking in right now actu

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Bro stop dying this is like the fifth time it's getting old

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : So Shuumai's friends with people other than Kaito and Makiroll?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Hello, Ouma

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Haji? Is that you?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Yeah, that's him

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I don't believe we've met? Makoto Naegi's my name!

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Nice to meet you, Egg boy! I'm Kokichi Ouma! Right now Shuumai is ju

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : What did he do this time? I apologise if Ouma said anything out of line.

 **Tech Bean** : Uh, I don't mean to pry, but is that you and Ouma running circles around the first year dorms?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Unfortunately, yes. He wants to "Meet more of Shuumai's friends!"

 **Egg Lesbin** : Oof

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Surprisingly, not as bad as when he found out I was friends with Hajime and Nagito.

 **Egg Lesbin** : What did he do then?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Long story short, Ouma's friends with both of them, he got a new scarf, Naegi fell down seven flights of stairs twice, and Nagito got a one hundred dollar bill

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hate to break it to you, but I actually fell down the stairs one more time after they left 

**Tech Bean** : How are you not dead Makoto

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Honestly? No idea.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : All I know is that if I didn't have anxiety and depression, I would have bested the gods at hand to hand combat by age ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I should write out the whole Mario Kart thing or if I should put it as Makoto/Shuichi telling their class/year via texting


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ahogays Unite**
> 
> **4:57 AM**
> 
> **The Fluffy Ahogay** : {HamsterCheekedVictory.JPG}
> 
>  **The Spikey Ahogay** : I'm sending this to my entire class

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:49 AM**

**Rule Dad** : Are you staying over at the second year dorms or shall I wait for you to return?

 **Tech Bean** : Nah, you can go to sleep. We're having a sleepover! Naegi would probably reply too, but he's absorbed watching Chiaki and Nagito battle it out

 **Tech Bean** : Somewhere during the night we swapped from Mario Kart to Super Smash Bros

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : FUJI DID YOU SEE THAT

 **Tech Bean** : NO WHAT'D I MISS

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : CHIAKI KNOCKED NAGITO OFF AND HE SHOULD'VE LOST HIS LAST LIFE

 **Long-Suffering E** **gg** : BUT THE GAME GLITCHED AND HE JUST... DIDN'T

 **Tech Bean** : What the fuck

 **Bike Dad** : Don't swear!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Like you're one to talk, mr. "What the fucking fuck shit did you fucking just fucking say to me fuck you you fucking fuck"

 **Oramge Juimce** : I'd say you swear the most out of everyone I know, but Fuyu exists so

 **Oramge Juimce** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Jokes on you guys, Miu doesn't just swear

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh I forgot she existed

 **Rule Dad** : If you are having a sleepover, you must sleep!

 **Tech Bean** : Fiiiiiiiine

 **Rule Dad** : Goodnight, Fujisaki! Naegi! Saihara-san! Hinata-san!

 **Tech Bean** : Night dad

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Night dad

 **Bike Dad** : :(

 **Tech Bean** : Night other dad

 **Bike Dad** : :)

 **Rule Dad** : Wait why are you awake bro? You should be sleeping!

 **Bike Dad** : And that's my cue to leave! Good by and good night!

 **Tech Bean** : I'm gonna go kick everyone(except for Chiaki and maybe Nagito)'s ass at SSB

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : This'll be fun to watch

* * *

Fujisaki whooped as they were crowned the victor, grinning at Makoto, who had been the first to die. Shuichi, who had survived the longest, simply lay down on the floor, hat over his eyes. Hajime set down the tray of hot cocoa he had brought, handing the only one with a cinnamon stick in it to Fujisaki. 

"The victory cup!" They cheered, popping one of their marshmallows into their mouth. The mug itself read #1 in large red print. They turned as they heard two separate camera clicks, seeing Mahiru with her camera, Hiyoko asleep in her lap, and Makoto, with his phone in hand.

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:57 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : {HamsterCheekedVictory.JPG}

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:57 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : {HamsterCheekedVictory.JPG}

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : I'm sending this to my entire class

 **The Piano Ahogay** : That looks fun :(

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Don't stay up too late, Makoto!

 **The Book Ahogay** : Hypocrite

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Yup!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Hmgjsjsh guyyyyyyyyyyysss

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : oH MY GO

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Looks like I'm an only child now

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Wait what happened

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Oh gods

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Now I see why Shuichi didn't want Ouma here

 **The Piano Ahogay** : ???

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I heard a clicking noise, like a lock, then Ouma just popped in through the window - fifth floor, by the way - and stole our hot cocoa mix and marshmallows

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Wait what happened to Makoto

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Well, Ouma's too short to reach the top shelf where the cocoa mix was (To ensure Akane didn't just down the whole thing)

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Someone's face had to be his stepping stool

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Oh yikes

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Yeah he just stood there for a second after Ouma left and then he face planted on the tile

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : O h y i k e s

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : I think he has a concussion? His nose and head are both bleeding rn - Mikan's asleep, so we're headed to the nurse

 **The Book Ahogay** : Is he dead?

 **The fluffy Ahogay** : M fu e,, fpntmqirtu

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Wait I'm fluent in concussed Makoto 

**The Megaphone Ahogay** : He just said he's fine, don't worry

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Kinda worrying that he's gotten so many concussions that you're fluent

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Is his brain okay?

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : His luck stopped him from anything super serious, no worries

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Welp we're at the nurse's office, so we'll brb

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**12:32 PM**

**Rule Dad** : Naegi! Why are you not in class!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : No worries, I'm just in the hospital Taka

 **Rule Dad** :

 **Tech Bean** : You killed my father

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Wait no

 **Tech Bean** : You shall face my wrath

 **Tech Bean** changed **Long-Suffering Egg** 's username

 **Broken Egg** : Why? :(

 **Cries In Gucci** : How absurd. I demand you change it back, or I will do it myself.

 **Broken Egg** : Thanks Togami!

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph. It would simply be far too tedious to remember you by yet another name.

 **Broken Egg** : Aww, you want to remember me!

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Tech** **Bean** changed **Broken Egg** 's username

 **The Most Average Four Leaf Clover** : An improvement, I guess

 **The Most Average Four Leaf Clover** : Kinda insulted though

 **Tech Bean** : U should be

 **The Most Average Four Leaf Clover** changed their own username

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Why didn't I do this from the start

 **Oramge Juimce** : Because you're still concussed and you have a fever so you're not thinking at your best?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ^^^ That

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Yeah that sounds about right

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Ouma sold it btw

 **Oramge Juimce** : But that was supposed to be _our_ hot cocoa mix D:<

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I bought a bit

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : It's on your dorm's doorstep jsyk

 **Oramge Juimce** : Thanks Shuichi

 **Oramge Juimce** : I'm still convinced you and Kaede (And Gonta) are the only sane ones in your class

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : That sounds about right

 **SHSL Dumbass** : I have no idea what's happening

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Do you ever

 **Hatsune Miku** : Did u really have to murder him tho

 **Cries In Gucci** : He did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL Y'ALL 69 KUDOS


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tech Bean: On that note, have any of you guys watched 50% Off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A story with Hajime and Naegi as brothers would be cool... Like one (Prob Naegi) came from either a bad household or his parents died, so the other adopted him? (And Komaru if it's Makoto)

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**10:21 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : I'm bored :/

 **Rule Dad** : It's the middle of class! Phone away!

 **SHSL Dumbass** : But you've got your phone out brah

 **Rule Dad** : 

**Tech Bean** : >:|

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Uh oh

 **Tech Bean** changed **SHSL Dumbass** 's nickname

 **Reigen Arataka** : :0

 **Cries In Gucci** : It's what you deserve, plebe

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Byakuya, you've seen MP100??

 **Tech Bean** : On that note, have any of you guys watched 50% Off?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : !! Yes!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : "What's up sluts, guess who just got outta prison"

 **Egg Lesbin** : THUG-ISA!!!

 **Tech Bean** : For all you poor unfortunate souls that haven't seen it yet, [here's the playlist with everything on it.](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJVeF2-zu1kGQ7t7UUPwolNWiQHXQUASs)

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Wait hold up - idea time

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Okay, so: Dorm party, all three of the Ahogays'™ classes (Minus Hifumi) + Komaru cause she's an Ahogay, and we watch through the FMAB bloopers and 50% Off

 **Tech Bean** :

 **Tech Bean** : I LOVE IT

 **Egg Lesbin** : When would it happen?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : How about... Two weeks from now? On a Saturday?

 **Tech Bean** : Sounds good

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : We'll be back by then, so that sounds okay!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Cool! I'll let the Ahogays™ know!

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**10:23 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : @Everyone

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Guys

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : What?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Do you need something?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : We got news for y'all!

 **The Book Ahogay** : They do, unfortunately...

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Toko, you were online??

 **The Book Ahogay** : Of course. You and Master were there.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : First off: Aww, second off: We've got a three class (+ Komaru - Hifumi) sleepover planned!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : !!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Don't forget to tell your class! It'll be two weeks from now, on the Saturday.

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Alright, Kaede and I will let our class know

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Same here

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**10:24 PM**

**Oramge Juimce** : Hey @Everyone

 **Oramge** **Juimce** : Guess what our class is doing in two weeks (On a Saturday)

 **The OG Gaymer** : What?

 **Monch** : Is it a buffet?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Actually, one of our underclassmen, Makoto, invited us (As well as another class in his year) to a sleepover not unlike what we did yesterday

 **#Hope4President2020** : Does that mean we'll have both hopes?? And fourty-four other talented students??

 **Oramge Juimce** : >:( You're talented too Nagito!!

 **#Hope4President2020** : ...

 **Mister Potato Head** : Sounds acceptable; I guess I'll come.

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI WILL DEFINITELY BE THERE

 **Princess Peach** : I shall attend as well.

 **Oramge Juimce** : Hey Chiaki, when you take attendence for class tomorrow would you ask everyone else if they're free?

 **The OG Gaymer** : Sure...

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**10:24 PM**

**The Science Show! Piano!** : Guys! @Everyone

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : What's up?

 **Blues Clues** : Well, we just kinda got invited to an event with Makoto and Hajime's classes? The next Saturday two weeks from now?

 **Ultimate Mom Friend** : Sounds lovely; I'll make sure to attend. Where will it take place?

 **Blues Clues** : First year dorm lobby!

 **The Entire Circus** : Oh boy, is Shuumai saying I can go too?

 **Blues Clues** : Why wouldn't you be allowed to go Ouma?

 **The Entire Circus** : 

**Atua's #1 Homie** : Angie wants to know why she heard Ouma scream and then saw him run by while blushing?

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : *Sips tea*

 **The Entire Circus** : Nishishishishi~ are my acting skills that convincing?

 **Atua's #1 Homie** : Atua says that wasn't acting! Angie can verify! The screaming started as soon as the text arrived!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : *Sips more tea*

 **The Entire Circus** : I'll tell Shuumai if it was acting or not if he meets me on the roof tomorrow during lunch break!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : *Chokes on tea*

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Wow! Sidekick's got a date!

 **Blues Clues** : Wait Kaito it's not a date I swe

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Looks like Shuichi died

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : ...Again.

 **The Science Show! Piano** **!** : Seriously dude it's a real problem now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of the names get confusing, please please please let me know!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Ahogays Unite**

**2:27 AM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : Hrmmmgggg

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : What's up Shuichi?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Kokichi's sleep talking + insomnia + anxiety + depression = late night crying sessions

 **The Piano Ahogay** : 1 rest in pieces 2 Kokichi???

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Wait 

**The Spikey Ahogay** : Are you two dating now?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : wAIT

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Congratulations!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Guys it's not like that

 **The Detective Ahogay** : We're just friends!

 **The Book Ahogay** : That's exactly what someone in a secret relationship would say

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Skfhslfusjdfu

* * *

**The Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:47 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Who's up?

 **Cries In Gucci** : Good morning, Makoto.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Heya Byakuya!

 **Tech Bean** : R u taking ur bf to the festival after break?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I don't have a boyfriend! Only!! Friends!!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh my gods I sound like Shuichi

 **Tech Bean** : *Laughs in ace/aro*

 **Tech Bean** : Wait guys

 **Tech Bean** : I'm literally an A

 **Rule Dad** : What do you mean?

 **Tech Bean** : I represent the A in LGBTQIA

 **Tech Bean** : Asexual, aromantic, agender

 **Bike Dad** : And amazing

 **Tech Bean** : :DDDD

 **Oramge Juimce** : It's literally illegal to be that sweet

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Hey Makoto

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Is this yours?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : {Four-LeafCloverHoodie.JPG}

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : No, I think it's Nagito's?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Can confirm

 **Oramge Juimce** : Where'd you find it? We've been looking for it for a while

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Funny story

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Do you want the long version or the short one

 **Oramge Juimce** : The short one, for now

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Key points of the story:

• Camping trip in Hawaii

• Bear

• Hike up a volcano

• Saw you three and Nagito at the airport

• Found it in my bag

 **Egg Lesbin** : What the FUCK?? That's why your bag was so dirty??

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : 

**Egg Lesbin** : Shit

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Komaru. Mind repeating that? I don't think I quite caught it.

 **Egg Lesbin** : So uh, bye guys! See you later Toko!

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph. I pray for success with your endeavor, Makoto

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Thanks Byakuya!

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**5:51 PM**

**Desmond The Moon Bear** : {WormOnAStringGotSnatchedByACat.JPG}

 **Tiny Tennis** : It's beautiful

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Wonderful

 **Atua's #1 Homie** : Both Angie and Atua find this pleasing!

 **The Entire Circus** : Shuumai!! It looks like one of DICE's cats!!

 **Blues Clues** : Huh, it really does, doesn't it?

 **Blues Clues** : But it doesn't have a the nick in it's right ear, does it Kokichi?

 **The Entire Circus** : Aww, so it isn't secretly Kimi? What a disappointment!

 **The Entire Circus** : But that's a lie! I knew it wasn't her; she's in my lap, nishishishishi~!!

 **Blues Clues** : Uh, Kokichi? You _do_ know that picture could've been taken ages ago, right?

 **The Entire Circus** : 

**You're A Big Spoon? I'm A knIFE** : ...He forgot

 **Daedalus** : Pft! Of course that gremlin forgot!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Don't be mean Miu!

 **Daedalus** : Fiiiiiiiiiine

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : ( ╹▽╹ )

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Thanks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found two typos last chapter y'all please let me know if you find any  
> Also let me know if you have a request on anything you want to see, whether that's memes, fluffy ship content, or just some characters being best friends


	9. Chapter 9

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:51 PM**

**Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : FUCK YEAH

 **Reigen Arataka** : Uh oh, why's she so excited

 **Riza Hawkeye** : We're on the plane home now. Our estimated time of arrival is in about three hours.

 **Hatsune Miku** :Awesome! Can't wait to see you!

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I'm sure Muks can't wait to see you either, but first thing I'm doing is visiting my gf so that'll have to wait

 **Oramge Juimce** : Oh, is that why Tsumiki looked so happy after your call today?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : She got excited to see me? That's totes fucking adorbs!

 **Tech Bean** : Sorry to interrupt, but I think I just saw Akane challenge Ogami to a fight

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : _W h a t_

 **Oramge** **Juimce** : Oh fuck

 **Oramge Juimce** : Please tell me they aren't fighting in the park

 **Tech Bean** :

 **Oramge Juimce** : Fuckkkkkking hellllllllllllllll

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : What's wrong?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Ko just went to the park for a walk!! And he found a hundred dollar bill yesterday!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh my gods the luck cycle

 **Oramge Juimce** : _The luck cycle_

 **Tech Bean** : What's that?

 **Sherlock Holmes** : A select few SHSL Lucky students have a legitimate luck talent. Makoto, before he became SHSL Hope, actually was one so he is no doubt more knowledgeable on the subject than I am. However, Nagito has the most severe luck cycle HPA has ever seen.

 **Tech Bean** : Oh dang

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Is he going to be okay??

 **Oramge Juimce** : He'll probably survive, but there's no telling what the bad luck will do

 **Donutz** : I'll tell Sakura to move the fight to the gym! That'll help, right?

 **Egg Lesbin** : I'm sure it'd be at least a little bit useful!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Screw it I'm going to the park 

**Long-Suffering Egg** : ...Would it be mean if I said good luck?

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**5:22 PM**

**Oramge Juimce** : AKANE

 **Monch** : What?

 **#Hope4President2020** : Hajime I'm fine!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Ko, being flung into a rose bush at high speeds is not fine

 **Oramge Juimce** : Especially since you sprained your ankle!

 **Monch** : What's that gotta do with me?

 **The OG Gaymer** : You were the one who tried to use him as an improvised weapon against Sakura... I think

 **Monch** : Oh yeah, I did do that didn't I? 

**Oramge Juimce** : (눈‸눈)

 **Coca Cola** : I can feel his Disappointed Mom Stare™ through the screen and it's not even directed at me

 **Princess Peach** : How lovely! Is it traditional for one to stand up for their lover's honor in Japan as well?

 **#Hope4President2020** : 

**Oramge Juimce** : Now is really not the time Sonia

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI CAN SEE THEM BLUSHING

 **Baby Gangsta** : How the fuck can you see both of those assholes?

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI IS IN THE DINING ROOM! SHE CAN SEE HAJIME IN THE KITCHEN AND NAGITO ON THE COUCH!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Then you can see that Ko got hurt, right?

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI CAN SEE MANY CUTS AND SCRATCHES ON HIM

 **Oramge Juimce** : So apologise Akane!

 **Monch** : Jeez fine I'm sorry, okay?

 **#Hope4President2020** : I'm honored ultimates such as yourselves would even see fit to apologise to trash like me! I'm truly grateful!

 **Oramge Juimce** : What did I say about talking down about yourself?

 **#Hope4President2020** : ...That it's perfectly acceptable because I'm human garbage?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Don't make me bring out Izuru

 **#Hope4President2020** : ...That it's not allowed because I'm a person and ultimate just like you.

 **Oramge Juimce** : Yup. If you talk down about yourself and say you're not a "real ultimate" that means you're saying Makoto and I aren't either! I'm only here because of Izuru; does that mean I'm unworthy? Does that mean the SHSL hope is unworthy?

 **#Hope4President2020** : Of course you're worthy Hajime! How could I ever think otherwise?

 **Coca Cola** : PDA you two!

 **Oramge Juimce** :

 **#Hope4President2020** :

 **Princess Peach** : How sweet! Their love has grown to the point that their actions are in synch!

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THEIR BLUSHING IS IN SYNCH AS WELL!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if this isn't the best; I had this chapter all typed up when my phone decided to restart, so I lost it as well as most of the stuff I had typed up for my humanities project, so I'm not doing the best rn, kinda cried for an hour or so after baking some cookies but it's all chill

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**7:17 PM**

**Tech Bean** : Hey Makoto are you free Saturday evening

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Yeah

 **Tech Bean** : Does the park at like six-ish work?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Yup!

 **Tech Bean** : Cool! Togami, are you free?

 **Cries In Gucci** : I suppose.

 **Tech Bean** : Nice, cause I'm not! Enjoy your date you two!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** :

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Tech Bean** : ;)

 **Kakegurui** : Speaking of date, are we still up for ours love?

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Wouldn't miss it for the world

 **Kakegurui** : <3

 **Sherlock Holmes** : <3

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Woo! Go get your girl Kiri!

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Thank you Makoto. I wish you luck on your romantic journey as well.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :/

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Hatsune Miku** : Guess who else has a date ;D

 **Riza Hawkeye** : Indeed

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : What the fuck! Why can everybody _except_ me get a date??

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I thought you were dating Tsumiki-san?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I am! But her class is prepping for their midterm presentations all day! Why do you think Hajimeme Gaynata isn't on?

 **Tech Bean** : _Junko you wonderful genius_

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I know but why?

 **Tech Bean** changed **Oramge Juimce** 's username

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh boy

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Hajime is not going to be happy about that one

 **Tech Bean** : When has that ever stopped me

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Good point

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**8:41 PM**

**Hajimeme Gaynata** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : You just finished with project prep for today?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : No, I was hanging with Ko. We made dinner for the class cause Teruteru was all conked out and no one else should even be allowed near the kitchen

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : bUT THE QUESTION STILL STANDS

 **Tech Bean** : ;)

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : >:(

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Damn, I'm not even on campus and I can still feel the Mother Hen Look™

 **Rule Dad** : Curfew is ten o'clock! You must be back soon! Why are you even out this late?

 **Egg Lesbin** : I'm in court!

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : ?!?

 **Egg Lesbin** : Remember that teacher I told you about?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : We're getting him arrested! He's going to jail! It's official! :D

 **Egg Lesbin** : :D

 **Cries In Gucci** : I congratulate you on your success, Makoto and Komaru.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Thanks Byakuya! 

**Long-Suffering Egg** : (o≧▽≦)っ

 **Cries In Gucci** : 

**Hatsune Miku** : You broke him

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Huh?

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : How dare you kill master!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Huh?!?!?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't exactly decide on replies to some comments (I'm v shy and anxious TwT) but!! I just wanted you guys to know!! I really appreciate each and every one of you!! Even if you didn't leave a comment!!

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**9:21 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Tech Bean** : I KNOW!!!

 **Cries In Gucci** : DELETE THAT PICTURE IMMEDIATELY

 **Tech Bean** : NO WAY IN HELL BITCH

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **SHSL Dumbass** : Um? What?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Cries In Gucci** : I agree Makoto

 **Egg Lesbin** : ???

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : _Tea_

 **Hatsune Miku** : Lol it's like u 2 kissed or smth

 **Long-Suffering Egg** :

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Hatsune Miku** : Omg

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : _T e a_

 **Egg Lesbin** : Makoto!! Deets!!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Deets in the Ahogay™ chat rn dude

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**9:22 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : Guyssssssss 

**The Piano Ahogay** : What's up?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : NaeGami's canonical

 **The Piano Ahogay** : !!!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Y'all kissed?? I owe Ouma twenty bucks :( 

**The Megaphone Ahogay** : Ha! Jokes on you guys; I bet on KomaHina being canon first

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Hajime??

 **The Spikey Ahogay** :

 **The Piano Ahogay** : _Holy shit_

 **The Book** **Ahogay** : Hmph. At least Master will marry into Omaru's family. He's in good hands there.

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Aww, thanks! <3

 **The Book Ahogay** : <3

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Wait guys

 **The Detective Ahogay** : What's wrong?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Nothing too serious, just,,, Fuji got a photo

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I'm kinda worried they'll show someone who shouldn't see it and Byakuya's father will find out

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Wanna let them know?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ...

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : I'll let Fujisaki know if you're nervous, Makoto.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Thanks Hajime!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : KK Fujisaki said they'd put the photo under Alter Ego's care

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Oh thank goodness; that means we've got no worries.

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Well, it's getting late, and I'm not an insomniac like all of y'all, so night night

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Night Kaede!

* * *

**Private Messages**

**9:34 PM**

**Shuumai** : Hey Kokichi?

 **Kichi** : What's up my beloved?

 **Shuumai** : Just um,,, would you mind going to the festival with me?

 **Kichi** : Course Shuumai! Why would I ever spend it with anyone else?

 **Kichi** : And that's not a lie!

 **Shuumai** : Hfhsgdjgkshk

 **Kichi** : :3

 **Kichi** : See you in the morning Mr Emo Detective! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys!! Written festival or festival chaos via chat?

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:27 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Byyyyyyyyyyyaaaaakkkkkuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyaaaaaaaa

 **Cries In Gucci** : What

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : <3

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

 **Cries In Gucci** : <3

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

 **Sugino Tomohito** : Boo! Flirt in the PMs you dirty ho

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :0

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : >:0

 **Tech Bean** : Watch out dude

 **Tech Bean** : You made Makoto angry

 **Tech Bean** : That means you gotta face his wrath and Togami's wrath, which by proxy means Toko and Syo's as well

 **Sugino Tomohito** : oH FUCKING HE

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :)

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Uh, Komaru?

 **Egg Lesbin** : I'm not hiding another body Makoto

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Aw :(

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Another?

 **Hatsune Miku** : C'mon Makoto! It's fine, I'm sure we could help you with this one too! 

**Riza Hawkeye** : We can.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Too?!?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Thanks guys! I owe you again, I guess

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : _AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!?_

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : You're going to give Shuichi a stroke Makoto

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Huh? What do you mean?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Hiiiii!!!! Shuumai just dropped this!!!! He's kinda freaking out .-.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : So the first thing you did was steal his phone?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Yup! Love the name btw!! Hajimeme!!! It's perfect!!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : ...

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Well, Shuumai's about to catch me, so before I go

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** added **Nagito Komaeda** to **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Nagito Komaeda** : ?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Nishishishishishi~ Bye!

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Oh my gosh I'm so sorry

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I gotta go clean up after him, sorry! He broke a bunch of Miu's stuff, she is _not_ happy

 **Nagito Komaeda** : What is this?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : It's a long story. Izuru and I could explain it later?

 **Nagito Komaeda** :

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : oH MY GODS MY NAME IS STILL LIKE TH

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Rip Hajime

 **Nagito Komaeda** : ...Moving on. Who's here?

 **Tech Bean** : Let's see... All of my (Fujisaki Chihiro) class minus Hifumi, as well as Hajime, Saihara, Komaru, and... I think that's it?

 **Nagito Komaeda** : Wonderful! What a hope filled chat!

 **Tech Bean** : _Inspiration has struck_

 **Tech Bean** changed **Nagito Komaeda** 's username

 **Wanna Buy Some... Hope Dope?** :

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : FUJI. FUJI IT'S AMAZING.

 **Tech Bean** : I KNOW

 **Egg Lesbin** : Pft- It's beautiful, Fujisaki

 **Wanna Buy Some... Hope Dope?** : Such incredible hope! 

**Detective Conan Fanboy** : I'm still glad someone other than me died this time :/

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : We lost two brave warriors today

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Sounds litty titty bro

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : It was indeed a tragic event, Junko

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I've been (Even more) scarred for life

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Rip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who can name all the references in the names and messages from all the chats gets extra brownie points (◍•ᴗ•◍)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long-Suffering Egg: Happy Hallow's Eve bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-; I'm so sorry I didn't update earlier...  
> I didn't have any inspiration, and I figured a late but okay update was better than an on time and awful one

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**12:00 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Happy Hallow's Eve bitches

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:27 AM**

**Reigen Arataka** : Holy shit did Naegi just swear?!?!?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Not just; it was about six hours ago Hiro

 **Reigen Arataka** : That changes nothing!!

 **Tech Bean** : It's Halloween already?? For real??

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Yeah, and Tsumugi's going _nuts_

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Is she alright?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Oh dw she's fine. She just got really excited to put her talent to good use; I heard she and your classmate, the imposter I believe? Are going to enter a competition to see who wins

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Oh boy

 **Reigen Arataka** : We're seriously ignoring how Naegi swore??

 **Egg Lesbin** : He's allowed one swear per holiday, it's chill

 **Hatsune Miku** : Is that why he screamed "FUCK" at the top of his lungs from the school roof at Christmas time last year?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh gods you saw that??

 **Hatsune Miku** : It was pretty dumb looking dude

 **Egg Lesbin** : ...Vid?

 **Hatsune Miku** : Sure! I'll PM it to you so Makoto can't delete the message ;)

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Stop bullying meeeeee

 **Cries In Gucci** : Indeed. It's getting rather aggravating.

 **Egg Lesbin** : No fair! You can't use Togami! That's cheating! He's rich!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Thanks <3

 **Cries In Gucci** : ...<3

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : \\( ╹▽╹ )/

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Welp, this is sickeningly sweet and it's Izuru's turn to pilot today, so peace out y'all

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Bye-bye Hajime!

 **Tech Bean** : See you around, Hajime.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I wonder why Nagito isn't on?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : He dropped his phone down the sewer grate

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Yuppers! The mechanic man is fixing it cause it's all waterlogged now! It's fucking hilarious to watch everytime it shocks him

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : It's a shame they kicked me out ):

 **Donutz** : It's what you deserve tbh

 **Donutz** : Also

 **Donutz** changed their username

 **H2oh No You Didn't** : Better

 **The Buffest Lesbian** : It's wonderful

 **H2oh No You Didn't** : Thanks Sakura!

 **The Buffest Lesbian** : Want to grab some milk tea and donuts after class?

 **H2oh No You Didn't** : That'd be great!

 **Sugino Tomohito** : I'm a sad single man :(

 **Sugino Tomohito** : I like both girls and guys but I never get a date :(

 **Tech Bean** : Guess ur just meant 2 be bi ur self

 **Sugino Tomohito** : You wound me :(((

 **Tech Bean** : Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all can see which class I'm biased towards :3  
> But for realsies folks; should I write out the festival scene?  
> Also, I'm kinda contemplating writing another story after this one. Just a five plus one komahina thing, y'know? And maybe a couple au stories after that.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hdhslfhshdkahsk y'all are so nice what the HECK

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:21 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Guys guys guys guys

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : What's up?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Well, first off

 **Long-Suffering Egg** changed two usernames

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Perfect

 **Hope Bagels** :

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : I was half expecting you to change my name tbh

 **Monopoly Queen** : Why are you still stuck on this?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : What you did was unforgivable and you know it Celeste

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : ?? What??

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Spill the tea sis

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Basically, Celeste, Hiro, Fuji, Kiri, and I all played Monopoly. She won so fast so many times she had to sit out and play ref

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : And you're still salty about it?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Would've been fine if she hadn't won exactly sixty-nine times before sitting out

 **Reigen Arataka** : Haha nice

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Not the time Hiro

 **Monopoly Queen** : As that was what I was going for, it is actually very much the time. Though not from that impudent worm.

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Makoto's just bitter because his luck cycle was down that day

 **Sherlock Holmes** : He didn't win once, and he face planted on the sidewalk on the way to the dorms with Byakuya

 **Egg Lesbin** : Get rekt Makoto

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : D:

 **Rule Dad** : Bullying is not allowed in a school environment!

 **Egg Lesbin** : But it's Saturday! And a holiday! And none of you are in school!

 **Rule Dad** :

 **Tech Bean** : Stop killing my dad or I stg I'll commit murder

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : [Eyes]

 **Tech Bean** : [Eyes But Faster]

 **Hatsune Miku** : Is anybody here entering the costume competition?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Actually, Byakuya and I are both judges, due to his status as a Togami and mine as a SHSL Hope!

 **Hatsune Miku** : Can u be bribed

 **Rule Dad** : Referees must always stay unbiased!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** :

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : No I can't be bribed. I'm dating Byakuya so like...

 **Cries In Gucci** : One of my personal estates has a money fountain

 **Cries In Gucci** : Alas, we could not get enough for the swimming pool as well, because my father said it was one or the other.

 **Reigen Arataka** : Why is _he_ the one that gets to be rich! You should buy us all Christmas presents brah!

 **Cries In Gucci** : ...Fine.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :D

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph.

 **Reigen Arataka** : Wait that actually worked what the fuck

 **Rule Dad** : Language!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a recommendation!! You can check the last chapter for a username, because my phone is a little piece of crap who won't let me link stuff anymore!! \\(・∀・)/

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:17 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : D:

 **Cries In Gucci** : I feel the same

 **Egg Lesbin** : What's up? Isn't it visiting day today? Is that the issue?

 **Cries In Gucci** : I do not wish to see my father, though he will most likely not show up, either.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Mine probably won't either. Soda, Gundham, Sonia, and I are going to hang with Gonta and maybe Kokichi, unless he stays with Saihara. You could hang with us, Togami? That is, if you don't mind Twogami's presence. They've decided hanging with us is better than being alone.

 **Cries In Gucci** : I will be accompanying Makoto all day.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Though we appreciate the offer!

 **Hope Bagels** : Hajime, would you mind if I came with you today?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Course you can, Ko.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Kokichi's with me today, btw! We're going to say hi to my uncle, and then just chill together.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Sounds fun! Can't wait to see you guys! (But especially Toko :P)

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : (o///o )

* * *

Hajime hummed softly, watching Peko and Fuyuhiko play with Gonta's wolf family. The two would head back to where the Kuzuryuu family was waiting soon, but wanted to make the most of the time they had free now.

He knew his parents weren't the best, which was only confirmed when they signed him away for the Kamukura project without a second thought, but he never thought he'd tell them about visiting day only for them to ask why it concerned them.

"Hey Hajime?" He turned towards Nagito, who was facing him with a curious expression. "I hope it isn't rude for trash like me to-" Hajime sent him a look. "-I mean, I hope it isn't rude if I ask why your parents aren't here? It was to my knowledge they were both alive, no?"

"It's not rude, don't worry." He felt a wistful smile overtake his face, as he thought back to when he was younger, still had a chance to get a talent, and his parents were a constant. Slowly though, their participation in his life waned, becoming non-existent over time. "They just... Don't really care, I guess." Spotting Nagito's worried face, he hurriedly added to what he had said. "It's fine; I don't mind it. I was kind of expecting it to be honest." ~~It wasn't fine and he knew it; he had hoped and prayed they would show, but was disappointed like he normally was.~~

His smile turned sad, and slightly self-deprecating. "Guess it's sort of my fault, after all." He could feel Izuru's anger through the mindscape, obviously mad he had jumped to such a boring conclusion.

"Hey, don't say that!" Nagito exclaimed, taking Hajime's hands in his own and making him blush. "It's not your fault your parents don't know how to raise a child!" 

Hajime looked away, uncertain. "But- They said-"

"So what?" Nagito interrupted, voice firm. 

"S- So what?" Hajime parroted back, incredulous. 

"Yeah, so what? So what if someone said it was your fault; who cares if that's what they think if it isn't the truth?" Nagito's tone was stern and unyielding, but held a certain softness to it.

It made Hajime's brain short circuit.

As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, he felt tears bubble up, and quickly scrubbed them away. "Sorry," he mumbled, barely legible even to his own ears.

"Nothing to apologise for! An ultimate such as yourself could never have anything to apologise for!" Nagito assured him, a genuinely happy grin spread across his cheeks.

"Not to repeat what you said earlier, but I hope I'm not being rude by asking this... I was wondering-" Hajime was cut off as Gonta called them over to say goodbye to Fuyuhiko and Peko, who were going back to the Kuzuryuu family.

"Gonta wanted all his friends to see one animal friend before they left!" The boy chirped, before holding out a small puppy.

Almost immediately, Nagito let out a small whine, scooping the tiny animal into a hug.

Gonta had an ecstatic expression, hands clapped together happily. "Oh, Gonta is so happy his friends like his present!"

Nagito had fallen onto the ground, sitting on the grass with a blissful look of pure joy on his face as the little puppy covered his face in kisses. It was an adorable sight, to say the least.

Unfortunately, Gonta (and the puppy) had to go. Apparently, he and his classmate - Hoshi, if he remembers correctly - had an outing planned.

"Today was fun," Nagito commented, staring down at the courtyard. The two had migrated to the roof, one of the only calm spots. Down in the courtyard, however, was almost every couple introducing parents and relatives and visiting friends. Kokichi and Saihara introduced DICE and an uncle to each other respectively, Togami was introduced to Makoto's parents, Chiaki and Ibuki introduced their relatives - huh, who knew Chiaki and Fujisaki were cousins? - and Fuyuhiko was with Soda and Gundham, his family having left a while ago.

"It was." Hajime leaned his head on Nagito's shoulder, feeling rather worn out.

"I think my parents would've loved it." Okay, Hajime's like ninety-percent sure he was _not_ supposed to hear that, a remark muttered under Nagito's breath with an air of sorrow.

"What was that?" Hajime asked nonetheless, feeling like Nagito had a right to know he heard.

"Ah, I just thought my parents would've liked it at Hope's Peak! A place full of such hope; it's even in the name! Who wouldn't like it?" Nagito looked remorseful, despite the wide smile painted on his pained features.

"Are... Are you alright?" Hajime questioned tentatively, not wanting to panic the other. "You look a little sad." Far more than a little. It was the kind of sorrow brought only by- Oh. Oh no...

"Haha no I'm fine, Hajime!" Nagito laughed it off, waving his query away. "I'm just..." His shoulders slumped. "...Remembering."

"Remembering what?" He asked gently, trying to get him to open up.

"Well, the dog Gonta brought in. It uh. Kinda looked like the dog I had that..." That got hit by a truck, which they blamed his luck cycle for. Ouch. "And um... My parents. The- the plane, and the highjacker, and the kidnapper-"

"Wait wait- Did you just say _kidnapper?_ " Hajime said incredulously, eyes wide with worry.

"Nothing serious! He was only a serial killer, and I won the lottery with the ticket in the bag he used to dump me in the garbage, so I'm fine! Always was!" That's- no, that's not-

"Nagito, you can't just- say things like that! And then expect me not to worry!" Hajime exclaimed, grabbing Nagito's shoulders and pulling him into a hug.

"Sorry Hajime..." Nagito murmured, snuggling his head into Hajime's neck. "Seriously though, 'm fine."

Hajime sighed, knowing that wasn't fully true, but not willing to push him any farther.

"Alright. Want me to go grab a blanket so we can cuddle properly?" Hajime asked, already beginning to stand, before Nagito tugged him back down.

"No." 

"Oh, okay. Just rooftop cuddles? Kinda cliche, y'know." Inwardly, he cheered as he heard Nagito's laugh.

"You know what's make it more cliche?" Nagito said, grinning. "A kiss!" He tackled Hajime in a hug, making overdramatic smooching noises as he went to give him what he promised.

Hajime giggled, wrapping his arms around Nagito.

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**12:59 PM**

**Detective Conan Fanboy** : Why're y'all so sickeningly sweet

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : {RooftopNaps.JPG}

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : You're just jelly

 **Tech Bean** : Cause u wanna cuddle with The Gremlin™

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** :

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Uh, Kokichi just threw my phone at me and ran?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : *Chokes on tea*

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : 

**Detective Conan Fanboy** : _G u y s_

 **Tech Bean** : ...Whoops?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : More like whipped am I right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hajime wishes it was him giving Nagito kisses instead of the puppy-


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this updated sorta late; I've been fixing some errors with names. I sometimes get a little mixed up with Kokichi's T^T  
> Also, fair warning: kissing is literally the most explicit thing I'll write. Doing the do is a big no-no for my writing, tbh. I'm just not entirely comfortable with it, and I uh, am a bit undereducated due to my ace/aro status and inability to pay attention during literally any class, including SE

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:34 AM**

**Tech Bean** : Y'all that costume competition? Wild af

 **Reigen Arataka** : I didn't do horribly tho!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hiro you came in last place shut your mouth

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Wait who won? Twogami or Tsumugi?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Believe it or not, but they tied

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I should've guessed... They both got in on talents based off of disguises, after all.

 **Rule Dad** : Go to sleep!

 **Tech Bean** : Okay fine, we will dad

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**  


**11:58 PM**

**Sugino Tomohito** : Y'all I just walked in Naegi straight up chewing on his phone wth

 **Egg** **Lesbin** : I'm pretty sure mom's gonna kill him if he lost another bracelet

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I have some unused ones I could lend him? If he lost his, I mean

 **Sugino Tomohito** : Wait I'm confused what're you talking abt?

 **Tech Bean** : Silence mortal

 **Egg Lesbin** : Thanks

 **Tech Bean** : No prob! (/ ꈍᴗꈍ)/

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : It's all good guys!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I just left it in the classroom, so I'll pick it up tomorrow!

 **Rule Dad** : Nonsense! I'll grab it for you now!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh you really don't have to Taka. But thanks!

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph. I could have simply bought you another one.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Ooooooooooh somebody's jjjjjjjjjeeeeaaaaallllllloooooouuuuusssss

 **Cries In Gucci** : Nonsense! I'm not jealous! Why would I be?

 **Tech Bean** : Still in denial then, eh? Even tho ur literally dating him?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Be nice to him!!!!!!!!

 **Tech Bean** : Fiiiiiiiiiine.

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**12:07 AM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : You really good w/out your bracelet until Taka gets back?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Yeah I'll be fine, dw

 **The Detective Ahogay** : If you say so

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I do say so!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Get some sleep you two!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : With this insomnia? Never

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Same hat

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Mood

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Oh my gods guys were missing an Ahogay™!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : !!!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Who?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : K1-B0!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Yeah, we need to give Kiibo some Ahogay™ attention too

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Oh, I know Kiibo! Should we add him in the morning?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Sure!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Now actually get some sleep you guys! Please?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : :/

 **The Detective Ahogay** : :/

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : ಠಗಠ

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Okay, fine!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I'm supposed to be moving the story along in my project for humanities, but instead I've written a solid twenty pages of Rey and Tako goofing around and it is _fabulous_


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, we finally got here! Sorry I haven't been doing two updates a day like normal, school decided now would be the perfect time to give us like sixteen assignments at once so I'm kinda dead... ಥ‿ಥ

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:27 PM**

**Tech Bean** : _It's time motherfuckers_

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh heck yeah!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Open up y'all

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : We'll be there in five

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I can't find my contacts ;-;

 **Tech Bean** : You wear contacts?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Well it looks like I'm wearing glasses today, but normally yeah

 **Hope Bagels** : I feel the need to warn you ultimates that Teruteru should be quarantined during sleeping hours

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Oh Ko's got a point guys (gals, and non-binary pals)

 **Tech Bean** : ...Should we put him and Hifumi in the no-no closet?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : _Absolutely_

 **Tech Bean** : Consider it done :)

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I'm glad Kaede is there to keep Miu in check tho

* * *

"So... What even is Fifty Percent Off?" Several gasps rang out across the room at the innocent question. Shuichi fiddled with his hands, nervous now that all the eyes were on him. Normally, he'd just pull his hat down, but in the rush to find his contacts, he forgot it on the nightstand next to his bed.

"Um- N- Nevermind," he mumbled, taking a shaky step back.

"That's simple Shuumai! Even a dummy like Hajime could answer that one!" He turned towards Kokichi, watching as the brown haired teen in question tried to refute his statement, ultimately failing in the end.

"S- So... Is anyone actually _going_ to- to answer?" There was a pause, and then most of the room broke into laughter. He really didn't get what was so funny; he was genuinely very much confused.

"It's just a joke remake of the anime Free, hence the name Fifty Percent Off." Hajime informed him, from where he sat on a small recliner with Nagito.

"Thanks. That's literally all I needed to know..." The last part was muttered under his breath, but Kokichi's sharp ears caught it from where he was hanging off of Shuichi's arm.

"Nishishishi~ is Shuumai getting angwy? Cause we didn't answew his question wight away?" Kokichi sing-songed, grinning.

"N- No! Of course not," Shuichi blushed slightly, fixing his glasses. 

"Awe you suwe? Awe you weally weally suwe?" Kokichi continued, using the same high-pitched voice.

"Ouma, please stop with the UwU voice." Komaru was standing next to Toko, her megaphone still clipped to her skirt. "Like seriously. It's almost as bad as the time Kotoko tried to talk like that because she thought it was much more 'adorbs' than normal speech."

"Sounds like a blast," Makoto deadpanned, walking into the room behind Togami.

"I- It r- really isn't," Toko stuttered, crossing her arms. "Y- You'd have m- m- more fun g- getting th- that _oaf_ t- to admit th- that th- the original c- copy is f- far superior t- to his a- a- atrocities!"

Shuichi stood there, unsure of what was even happening at this point. Fortunately, Fujisaki pulled him and Kokichi away for a conversation before the videos started.

"Okay, spill the beans you two!" Both boys stared blankly at Fujisaki, not quite comprehending their words.

"Huh?" Shuichi asked intelligently.

"I said spill the beans! What's up with you guys? Are you dating or what?" Shuichi could see Kaede, Makoto, Hajime, and Komaru not-so-subtley listening in.

"I- um- we're not-" Shuichi started, before he was interrupted by Kokichi.

"I wish we were! But my beloved Shuumai is _soooooo_ stubborn!" Kokichi complained, draping himself completely over Shuichi's back, his head pressed right up against Shuichi's cheek, making his entire face turn bright red. "I've been flirting for eons! And yet not one bit of it got through his thick skull."

"W- Wait seriously? You've been- You've been flirting with me?" Shuichi sputtered, much to the amusement of Fujisaki, who seemed to take pleasure in his suffering.

"Well duh," Kokichi said, rolling his eyes. "What else do you think it means when I call you Shuumai, or adorable, or my beloved?"

"U- Um... Being- Being nice?" Shuichi offered lamely, sounding pathetic even to his own ears. (Though he usually did)

Both Kokichi and Fujisaki raised an eyebrow in unison, the same disbelieving expression painted across both of their faces.

"Okay, maybe I'm not worthy of my detective title," he conceded, looking down at his feet dejectedly. "Especially if- if I couldn't notice my cr- my friend fl- flirting with me." 

He saw Fujisaki grin at his near slip-up, wincing as he realised Kokichi probably caught it too.

"Hey guys! We're about to start the first video!" Oh thank the gods for Makoto. Like seriously not just for this - the boy's like a puppy personified. Shaking himself to clear his head of those thoughts, Shuichi went to walk to the couch, almost falling over as Kokichi's weight didn't disappear off his back.

Sighing reluctantly, already knowing what the boy wanted as he had given them to him several times, Shuichi simply shifted him into a piggyback position, continuing the journey towards the couch with more success. Fujisaki trailed behind them, their snickering barely audible over the beginning of the first video.

Once at the sitting area, Kokichi refused to move, forcing Shuichi to just lay down on his stomach, the purple haired teen still clinging to him like a cute little backpack.

He could just _hear_ the other Ahogays™ (and probably most of his class) laughing at him right now. Not literally though because they borrowed Ibuki's speakers to play this and if it were any louder they'd all be deaf.

Sighing once more, Shuichi resigned himself to a long night, seeing as almost no one slept during the last sleepover either. Well, excluding Chiaki and Himiko, who were already sound asleep.

Carefully, Shuichi wormed an arm out from under Kokichi and fixed his glasses, which had been slipping down his nose. He tuned back in to the TV just in time to watch the Harus fight for dominance, and be unable to read as a result.

He smothered a laugh at that, making his glasses fall crooked again. After about the fifth time it happened, he gave up, deciding to just watch the blurry images on screen and use the audio for clues as to what's happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol everyone's gonna flip when the Danganronpa scene comes up (◕ᴗ◕✿)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw you're on your period and your dog decides it's a good time to Sqmish™ your organs

Makoto yawned, sitting up from where he was curled against Byakuya's side. Glancing around, he smothered a laugh when he spotted Shuichi still flopped face first on the floor, nose smooshed and glasses laying a little bit away from his head. Ouma, sprawled across his back - did Shuichi take his binder off? It'd be pretty bad if he didn't - stretched slightly, shifting in his sleep and mumbling something about his beloved.

Makoto stood carefully, making sure not to wake Byakuya up. He fixed his hoodie, grabbing his phone and heading upstairs to his room to change.

He pulled open his door, slipping inside. Once he was done changing, he brushed his teeth, attempting to pull a comb through his hair afterwards. Yawning again, he went back downstairs and snuggled up to Byakuya again, the other unconsciously putting an arm around him.

He looked over towards where Hajime slept, his face buried in a pillow. Could he even breath like that? Komaeda clutched his hand tightly, wrapping his entire body around Hajime's arm like a lifeline. 

Smiling softly at his friends, Makoto closed his eyes, falling back asleep.

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**6:53 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : _IT IS TIME._

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Wait time for what?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : K1-B0, right?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Oh! I'll add Kiibo in just a second!

 **The Detective Ahogay** added **K1-B0 | Kiibo** to **Ahogays Unite**

 **K1-B0 | Kiibo** : What is this?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : A group chat! (Would it be robophobic to call you The Robot Ahogay? It's for the theme)

 **K1-B0 | Kiibo** : Oh, in that case it is understandable! You may label me The Robot Ahogay, so long as Ouma isn't here!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : What's wrong with Kichi?

 **K1-B0 | Kiibo** : He would certainly make it robophobic regardless of intent! Just yesterday he called me Roomba a total of sixteen times!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I see why you'd be mad, but please know that's Kichi's way of dealing with people he enjoys being around

 **K1-B0 | Kiibo** : ...I did not know this. Thank you for the additional info, Shuichi.

 **The Piano Ahogay** changed **K1-B0 | Kiibo** 's name

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Wonderful! Now we all match! (/ ꈍ▽ꈍ)/

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Oh heya new kid! Are you the one with white hair from yesterday?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Indeed! The list of people shows there is one more here, however?

 **The Book Ahogay** : That'd be me. I know you hate me though, so what's the point to telling you my name?

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : That's Toko! Toko Fukawa! I'm Komaru, Makoto's sister!

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Makoto is the one who fell down the stairs several times earlier in the year, no?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Is that all I'll be known for in the future ;-;

 **The Robot Ahogay** : My apologies! I was unaware of your presence here. I do not mean to offend!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : It's fine! No worries! Would you prefer if we called you K1-B0 or Kiibo?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : I would very much like if you called me Kiibo, please and thank you!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Cool! Nice... Well, not meeting you. I already met you last night, so... Nice getting to know you, Kiibo!

 **The Robot Ahogay** : It was nice meeting all of you as well! (✿≧▽≦)/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't update twice today...
> 
> Also, Saiiibouma is my OT3, tbh... I was debating making it a ship for this, which might still happen, but I'm a little worried about how it'll go over with all you guys.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what I'm doing with my life at this point tbh  
> This chatfic is like, the only constant. If I don't update at least once a day; disappointed readers. I'm very afraid of disappointment, therefore I am properly motivated for this. So, thank you guys for that.

**We Make Too Many References**

**12:17 PM**

**Roomba** : Shuichi, I regret to inform you I am unable to make it to lunch with you today.

 **Roomba** :

 **Roomba** : Ouma

 **Roomba** : _Ouma what the hell this is robophobic_

 **The Entire Circus** : Nishishishishi~ not my fault you gave me ample time for a name change, Kiiboy!

 **Blues Clues** : Kiibo, remember what I told you?

 **Roomba** : Ah yes! My apologies!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : I've never seen him chill about robophobia so fast before

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : I guess what you said really got through to him, huh?

 **The Entire Circus** : Hmm~? Has Shuumai been chatting with Kiiboy? Alone? Are they... Involved?

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Dude you sound like Miu

 **The Entire Circus** : EWWWW! THAT'S SO MEAN MOMOTA-CHAAAAAAAAN!!!!! WAAAHHHH!!!!

 **Daedalus** : Mother fucker say that to my face

 **The Entire Circus** : Okay!!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Uh

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Is now a good time to mention I just saw Ouma jump out a window

 **Blues Clues** : kOKICHI DID WHAT

 **Daedalus** : HDHSLFHSHDKAHSK

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : He fuckin' killed Miu that's what

 **The Entire Circus** : Now we've got nothing to worry about in the perv department! Unlike the other two classes Shuumai hangs out with!

 **Blues Clues** : I keep forgetting that you hack my phone regularly

 **The Entire Circus** : Nishishishishi~! It's more of a habit now than anything! Shuumai's social life is sooooooooooooo boring! Other than moi, of course!

 **Blues Clues** : Must everything you say be punctuated with an exclamation point

 **The Entire Circus** : Is that even a question‽‽‽

 **Blues Clues** : ...

 **Roomba** : Shuichi! Would it be acceptable if we met for lunch tomorrow instead?

 **The Entire Circus** : I'm coming too!! Whether y'all want me or not!!

 **Blues Clues** : Then it's a good thing I want you there isn't it Kichi?

 **Roomba** : I would like you there as well!

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Oh my gods I can't believe you just killed Ouma

 **Blues Clues** : I've gone from being killed to being the killer holy hECC

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Oh how the turns have tabled

 **You're A Big Spoon? I'm A knIFE** : Shut the hell up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are the best ohmigosh. I'd really appreciate some feedback, though I know most of the kudos/hits here are simply because the first chapter was good and then the quality just dropped harder than stonks.


	20. Chapter 20

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:21 AM**

**Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : What's up motherfuckers?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : What do you need, Junko?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I have a night out with my gf bitches.

 **Rule Dad** : I expect you back by ten pm sharp!

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I was gonna make a joke bout you being my dad, but like... (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **Tech Bean** : I have good news too!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : What's up Fuji?

 **Tech Bean** : My project for the festival's complete!

 **Tech Bean** : (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Woah!!! Congrats!!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

 **Bike Dad** : Good job! I'm proud of you, little Bean!

 **Reigen Arataka** : Bean?

 **Bike Dad** : An NB form of dude/chick, duh

 **Reigen Arataka** : Sweet! Seems legit

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : So Alter Ego's done?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Alter Ego?

 **Bike Dad** : Is that what you called your project?

 **Tech Bean** : Sorta! More like... What I named them!

 **Hope Bagels** : Huh? Them?

 **Tech Bean** : Yeah! An AI! They're super cool, and they've got a learning program installed, similar to Kiibo!

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Really? Does that mean...

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : AI IN THE CHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Tech Bean** : FUCK YEAH!!!

 **Tech Bean** added **Alter Ego** to **Heteros Can't Explain This One**

 **Alter Ego** : Master, what's this?

 **Reigen Arataka** : I'm really glad Hifumi isn't here rn

 **Alter Ego** : Hifumi Yamada... Master told me he is, and I quote, "A dirty fucking piece of trash who should never be let within six feet of this precious laptop."

 **Rule Dad** :

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Daaaaaaaaaaaang Fuji

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : I'm impressed tbh

 **Alter Ego** : Master, who are all these people?

 **Tech Bean** : Oh, we have most of my class, who's ID you should already have, Komaru Naegi, Hajime Hinata/Kamukura Izuru and Nagito Komaeda, as well as Shuichi Saihara! I believe that's all!

 **Alter Ego** : That's so cool Master!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** changed **Alter Ego** 's name

 **[Non]Binary Code** : Master Naegi, what's this?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : It's a pun! Y'know, a joke? Off the word non-binary and binary code!

 **[Non]Binary Code** : I see! Thank you for the information, Master Naegi!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Call me Makoto - we've got my sister here too, so calling me Naegi's bound to get confusing pretty fast

 **[Non]Binary Code** : Noted! Thanks Master Makoto!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Np! You seem pretty chill

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Do you think Kiibo would like knowing Alter Ego? He seemed pretty lonely as the only AI in HPA. 

**Detective Conan Fanboy** : Is it robophobic of me to say that? I hope not

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Oh I'm not gonna be online at lunchtime either - I'm eating with Kichi and Kiibo!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh, I have a date today too! But it's a dinner date with Byakuya and I.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** :

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Right back to dying dude smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewatched HxH and like. You can physically _see_ Kurapika go insane. But you gotta respect the fact that he was so confident in his abilities that he brought a frickin' shovel to the fight


	21. Chapter 21

**Ahogays Unite**

**3:47 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : U kno when u think u might b bi for a lil bit, then Byakuya walks by and ur like,,, mens

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Mood but with... Other people.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : How did your first date go with these "other people" by the way?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Hhhhh! You had a date? And didn't tell me? How could you!

 **The Book Ahogay** : Top ten anime betrayals

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : My bbs first meme... *Wipes away tear* I'm so proud...

 **The Book Ahogay** : Oh shut up

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Aww, I love you too Toko! <3

 **The Book Ahogay** : ...<3

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Anywho, back to my nightly insomnia while I think about Byakuya's smile

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Gay and whipped - the perfect combo 

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**12:24 PM**

**Princess Peach** : Has anyone seen Hajime? He has not shown up in class and it is most worrying!

 **Coca Cola** : I know where he is Miss Sonia! 

**The OG Gaymer** : He's having a bad day. It's because of Izuru... I think.

 **Princess Peach** : Thank you most dearly, Chiaki!

 **The Four Dark Devas Of Destruction** : I see yet another pair of souls have found their match! What a wonderful occurrence.

 **Baby Gangsta** : Who the fuck changed my name back?? I'm gonna kill that fucking piece of shit!

 **Coca Cola** : It was probably Nagito!

 **Baby Gangsta** : Soda why the fuck did you change my name

 **Coca Cola** : bb no it's not what it looks like-

 **The Four Dark Devas Of Destruction** : Alas, this poor doomed soul is that of my lover... We shall meet again in the underworld, my dark prince.

 **Baby Gangsta** : ( ò‸ó)

 **The Master Sword** : Your choice in emoticon was a poor one, Young Master.

 **Baby Gangsta** : (눈‸눈)

 **Oramge Juimce** : So is it just bully Fuyuhiko day or

 **#Hope4President2020** : Hajime!!!!!!!! Hi!!!!!!!!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Hi guys! Sorry I couldn't be in class today, Izuru wanted control but it wasn't his day so now I have a bit of a splitting headache and I can't really walk and looking at the phone screen hurts my eyes so I'm just kinda sitting here and maybe crying a little bit??

 **#Hope4President2020** :

 **The OG Gaymer** : ...Did Nagito just jump out the window?

 **#Hope4President2020** : If Hajime asks, no


	22. Chapter 22

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:27 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Guiysf o kusy gekk dpen ygr syquds

 **Egg Lesbin** : Wait seriously?? That's awful!! Togami, go help your bf!!!

 **Cries In Gucci** : ...Hmph.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Yjsmjs jinwy u kpvr tiu

 **Cries In Gucci** : 

**Cries In Gucci** : ...I love you too, Makoto

 **Bike Dad** : Seriously how the fuck do you guys understand him

 **Egg Lesbin** : Half the time, we can't. Then he gets a concussion, and boom: easy as pie.

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**4:29 PM**

**Oramge Juimce** : Jfc guess who got a concussion again

 **#Hope4President2020** : Makoto?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Makoto.

 **The OG Gaymer** : I'm sure he'll be okay... I think.

 **Oramge Juimce** : That's... Grammatically incorrect, Chiaki

 **The OG Gaymer** : Ur grammatically incorrect Hajime

 **Oramge Juimce** : >:(

 **#Hope4President2020** : Oh c'mon guys! Ultimates shouldn't fight!

 **Oramge Juimce** : Well right now I'm not technically an ultimate, so 

**#Hope4President2020** : Izuru that's your cue

 **Oramge Juimce** : You called?

 **#Hope4President2020** : Just to prove a point!

 **Oramge Juimce** : How boring.

 **Oramge Juimce** : This mf better stop because he's giving me a headache every time he does that and I sttg, I will physically tear him out if he does it again

 **#Hope4President2020** : Sorry Hajime

 **Oramge Juimce** : Not your fault, Ko <3

 **#Hope4President2020** : <3

 **The OG Gaymer** : ...Well, I have a date. See you later... I think

 **Princess Peach** : Oh joy! You remembered!

 **The OG Gaymer** : I would never forget

 **Oramge Juimce** : The lack of '...I think' let's you know she's sincere

 **Princess Peach** : What a lovely day for a picnic too! See you there, love!

 **The OG Gaymer** : (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)   


* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:31 PM**

**Egg Lesbin** : So y'all know how Makoto fell down the stairs again ye?

 **Bike Dad** : Ye

 **Tech Bean** : Did something happen?

 **Egg Lesbin** : To put it simply, he broke his leg. Again.

 **Tech Bean** : Dumbass

 **Rule Dad** : !!

 **Tech Bean** : Sorry dad, had to be said.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Oh he ain't the only dumbass

 **Tech Bean** : ?

 **Egg Lesbin** : I called Togami, told him Makoto broke his leg, and you know what this dumb bitch does?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Oh don't tell me. I sttg, every single twink turns out to be an idiotic simp wth

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : ...This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the shattered glass I found around the pavilion, would it?

 **Egg Lesbin** : Oh it most definitely has everything to do with it

 **Egg Lesbin** : That's right, my brother's sugar daddy jumped out a window folks

 **Cries In Gucci** : Shut your filthy plebeian mouth, commoner trash.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Bit redundant, eh Togami?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Don't bully him! I'll tell mom to throw out your portion of kangaroo

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : I've got some here, Omaru

 **Egg Lesbin** : Thanks Toko! Suck it, Makoto!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : D:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can anybody translate Makoto bc woah he don't make sense


	23. Chapter 23

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:39 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : @ **The Robot Ahogay** Mum come pick me up I'm scared everyone's chaotic and swearing and threatening

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ( ｡•́︿•̀｡)

 **The Robot Ahogay** : What is the matter Naegi?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Call me Makoto! And I stated the problem... It's...

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Vulgar language, mainly courtesy of Komaru, Mondo, Hajime, and a few others

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Would you like an Ahogay™ sleepover on our side of the dorms?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Yes ;-;

 **The Robot Ahogay** : I am on my way to fetch you and your stuff now!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Kiibo you are a godddd

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : (つ≧▽≦)つ

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Jesus fuck is your swear limit so fucking low?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : щ(゜ロ゜щ)

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : I embraced my inner Fuyuhiko for that one so be impressed

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Hahahaha Makoto is a weak bitch

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : (눈‸눈)

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I'm gonna tell Taka you said that

 **The Book Ahogay** : Unlike Syo, I like my dates alive

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Awww, you were worried about me! <3

 **The Book Ahogay** : ...<3

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Makoto, please open the door!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Dang you're fast

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Wait did you bring Ou

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Did Ouma just murder Makoto 

**The Detective Ahogay** : I told him no more murder! That means no Panta for the rest of the week :/

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Nagito wants in on the chat

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : He says he has a cloud Ahogay™

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Fair enough! Should we wait a day like with Kiibo?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Probably, yeah 

**The Book Ahogay** : Shut up. I have dinner with Omaru.

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Have fun! :D


	24. Chapter 24

**Gaymers And Co**

**1:43 AM**

**Oramge Juimce** : Hey I forgot to tell y'all yesterday but it's Izuru's day tomorrow so don't be surprised, k?

 **Princess Peach** : Thank you for wanting us, Hajime! We will be sure to keep it in mind!

 **Oramge Juimce** : I just don't want you to be offended if I call you boring :(

 **Princess Peach** : Do not worry! We know you truly do not think of us in that fashion!

 **#Hope4President2020** : No cuddles tomorrow T^T

 **Oramge Juimce** : 

**Oramge Juimce** : Ko we're literally cuddling right now wh

 **\\\\(≧▽≦)//** : IBUKI THINKS HAJIME IS DEAD! JUST LIKE HIS AND NAGITO'S WILLS TO LIVE!

 **Coca Cola** : My soul friend has passed on to another world

 **The Four Dark Devas Of Destruction** : I shall inform you of his wellbeing next I visit the underworldly hell from whence I came and he returned, my dark prince.

 **Baby Gangsta** : GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP ASSHOLES

 **Paparazzi Wish They Could** : We just gonna ignore Mioda's comment?

 **Paparazzi Wish They Could** : Alrighty then.

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**2:07 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : Well, I'm bored

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Mood

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Everything is boring.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : That's not true, Izuru!!!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : ...

 **The Book Ahogay** : You're all boring, that's for sure.

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 **The Book Ahogay** : ...Except for you, Omaru.

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : \\(｡•́▽•̀｡)/

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I may be a raging insomniac, (Along with Makoto and Hajime) but the rest of you need sleep, right? 

**The Detective Ahogay** : Or do we all take sixteen shots of straight caffeine to keep us alive every morning?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Shuichi, ily platonically, but

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Jesus shit holy fuck how the hell are you alive

 **The Detective Ahogay** : An unholy amalgamation of espresso, insomnia, spite, fear of failure, deadlines, anxiety, depression, and a healthy daily dose of mental breakdowns.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Mood

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Hajime wants me to tell you he says this is, "A mood"

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Izuru I know you have the Ultimate memer talent in there

 **The Piano Ahogay** : !!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : PM ME WITH MMMMMMMEEEEEEMMMMMEEEEESSSSS

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Sure. It'll get boring so fast...

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Should we wait until Hajime's back to add Komaeda?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : We most definitely should!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Kiibs, could you pass me that fluffy blanket please

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Aren't you in the same room?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Shuichi and Ouma are here too, but Shuichi's been in the corner of his sleeping bag since 11 cause Ouma conked out early

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Makoto!!

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : *Sips tea*

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Shuichi is correct! We should go to sleep Immediately! 

**The Robot Ahogay** : Though I am worried about you, Shuichi

 **The Robot Ahogay** : That much caffeine can't be healthy

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I neglected to mention it earlier, but Kiibs is lying on Shuichi's other side

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : In the words of Ouma when they both settled there, "It's a Shuumai sandwich!"

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Oh to be young and in love~

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Hhhh it's the blush!!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : {UhOhShuichi'sBlushing!!.JPG}

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Holy shit little dude I gotta save this-

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I'm not that short... Am I?

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : You are

 **The Detective Ahogay** : You are

 **The Piano Ahogay** : You are

 **The Book Ahogay** : You are

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : You are

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Izuru too??


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cries in 290 kudos*

**Ahogays Unite**

**5:22 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : gUYS HOLY FUCK

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : ?!?!?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : GUESS WHAFKSUFJECK

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Unfortunately, your brother, Makoto, has passed away. His funeral will be held on Hope's Peak Academy grounds 

**The Megaphone Ahogay** : Jesus fucking christ stop murdering him you monsters

 **The Piano Ahogay** : This is so sad

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Kiibo play Despacito

 **The Robot Ahogay** : That's robophobic!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : You're all so boring... You've already moved past the main point of this conversation.

 **The Book Ahogay** : Oh yeah? Well the main point sure ain't you, asshole

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : You know, I don't think I've actually met a lot of you. Sure, I saw you at the sleepover, but we never really interacted, did we?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : I would be more than happy to host another get together! Unfortunately, Professor Idabashi and Miu wanted to give me some upgrades next weekend...

 **The Piano Ahogay** : What about winter break?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I'm going to be... Busy, during the beginning of winter break, so maybe the Saturday at the end?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : That sounds fine!

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Sure!

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Then it's settled! Keep safe until then!

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**6:01 AM**

**Stronk Lesb** : :D

 **#RealMagicComesFromTheWandNotWithin** : Nyeh... 

**Stronk Lesb** : :DDDD

 **#RealMagicComesFromTheWandNotWithin** : (//•///////•// )

 **Blues Clues** : Off topic from your adorable flirting, but could I have some help hiding a body Maki?

 **Blues Clues** : Maki?

 **Blues Clues** : Fine. Angie?

 **Blues Clues** : ...

 **Blues Clues** : GDI I'LL DO IT MYSELF

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Is no one worried about how Shuichi knows how to hide a body?

 **The Entire Circus** : He's a detective, numbskull!

 **The Entire Circus** : He'd know how to hide a body better than anyone!

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Please be careful with Makoto's corpse!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Oh dang he offed Naegi?

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Yeah, I already told him that I wouldn't be his emotional support as he dug the grave, and that he's pretty much begging for Togami's wrath.

 **Blues Clues** : Uh, gUYS I THI

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : See?

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:27 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Thanks Byakuya <3

 **Cries In Gucci** : ...No problem, Makoto.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : <<<<3333

 **Cries In Gucci** : ‹3

 **Tech Bean** : I don't know what's going on but it feels dangerous

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :)

 **Egg Lesbin** : Makoto. Did you seriously sic Togami on him?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :))))

 **Reigen Arataka** : So. Whoever that is. Is super dead.

 **Hatsune Miku** : Makoto is not to be trifled with. Even before Togami arrived

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : But I'd never get rid of Byakuya! He's here to stay forever! I do love him, after all.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Egg Lesbin** : Uh oh, he's dead!


	26. Chapter 26

**Ahogays Unite**

**12:39 PM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : I look pretty good for a dead bitch

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ~He's aliiiiiiive~

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I find it mildly offensive that the one who killed me is the same person who finished the meme

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Does Shuichi not like me? (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)

 **The Detective Ahogay** : No, it's more of... Loathing

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : UNADULTERATED LOATHING

 **The Book Ahogay** : FOR YOUR VOICE, YOUR FACE YOUR CLOTHING

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : LET'S JUST SAY

 **The Book Ahogay** : I LOATH IT ALL

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : EVERY LITTLE TRAIT HOWEVER SMALL

 **The Book Ahogay** : MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : WITH SIMPLE UTTER LOATHING

 **The Book Ahogay** : IT'S A STRANGE EXHILARATION

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION

 **The Book Ahogay** : IT'S SO PURE!

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : SO STRONG!

 **The Book Ahogay** : THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST

 **The Book Ahogay** : AND I WILL BE LOATHING

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : LOATHING YOU MY WHOLE LIFE

 **The Book Ahogay** : LONG

 **The Detective Ahogay** :

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** :

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Oh damn

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Hajime!!!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Hey Makoto!

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Shall we add Nagito then?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Ah, yeah, about that...

 **The Robot Ahogay** : ?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : So, Nagi kinda maybe broke his phone again?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Literally how?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Long story

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : (ー_ー゛)

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Btw, I dm about earlier Makoto

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Oh good! I don't think I'd be able to bear it if one of my friends didn't like me qwq

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I'm just glad I didn't stay dead iibh

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Mood

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**5:47 PM**

**The Megaphone Ahogay** : Ok bitches, Winter Break starts tomorrow, we're meeting at the end of it, and the festival I'd in two months. That right?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Unfortunately...

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Something wrong Shuichi?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Just,,, not super hyped. For Break. Parents, y'know?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : I feel you bro

 **The Detective Ahogay** : We have a Bad Dad chat (For bad parents of all types) 

**The Detective Ahogay** : Wanna join?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Sure? Maybe tomorrow though.

 **The Detective Ahogay** : KK

 **The Book Ahogay** : I wouldn't recommend joining. It's worse than our class chat

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Is that even possible though?

 **The Book Ahogay** : ...

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I know I sound like Taka, but it's time for dinner so get your butts down here!!!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Fine uh... Younger dad? How does that work?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Fuji makes it work

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Fair enough


	27. Chapter 27

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**8:49 AM**

**Hope Bagels** : All in favor of murdering bullies violently say I

 **Hope Bagels** : I

 **H2o No You Didn't** : I

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I

 **Riza Hawkeye** : I

 **Hatsune Miku** : I

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I'm going to kick their asses Hajime

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Makoto no

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Makoto YES

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I can help 

**Long-Suffering Egg** : yES

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Guys seriously

 **Reigen Arataka** : Wait what's happening?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : I may have accidentally potentially told the Ahogays™ about how I was bullied a little bit when I was in the reserve course?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : D u d e

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : T h a t ' s n o t a l i t t l e b i t

 **Hatsune Miku** : ...

 **Hatsune Miku** : I can go grab one of Maki's knives

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Maizono no that's worse

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : NO THAT'S WRONG

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : NO THAT'S WRONG

 **Egg Lesbin** : Haha beat ya to it

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hajime. I mean this in the nicest way possible. But

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : You're a fucking idiot.  


 **Hajimeme** **Gaynata** : D:

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : You said you were punched so hard you coughed up blood!! By an ultimate!! In the athletics category!! Not!! Good!! Ever!!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : But now I could take it tho

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Half the stuff they did focused on physically strengthening my body, while also compacting muscle mass so I'm light-weight and fast

 **Egg Lesbin** : What's the other half?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Fully awake no painkillers open brain surgery

**_Several members are typing..._ **


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to Silverheart157 for correcting my mistake T^T  
> Please don't hesitate to point out any you notice! It's a big help, since I type my chapters on the spot so it's difficult to get a beta

**Ahogays Unite**

**7:53 PM**

**The Spikey Ahogay** : Did I ever tell u guys bout how I met my true love

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I don't think so?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : It was a beautiful day, I was only five years old. My teacher handed me the first one I had ever had, along with a whole one too. It was love at first sip, and I think I was infatuated after first bite

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Haji why the fuck did you choose oranges over me

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Sorry Nagi, I said my true love

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : We all know that's oranges

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Guys Haji's being meeeeaaan

 **The Detective Ahogay** : You sound like Kichi

 **The Hope Ahogay** : I sound like an ultimate?! The very thought... So much hope for trash like me!!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** deleted one message

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : >:(

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Sorry Haji

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : No worries Nagi! Ily <3

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Ilyt <3

 **The Book Ahogay** : Save the flirting for the dms, assholes

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : That's a bit hypocritical...

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : *Laughs in Non-Ahogay™ boyfriend*

 **The Detective Ahogay** : *Laughs in one Ahogay™ one Non-Ahogay™ boyfriends*

 **The Piano Ahogay** : sTOP THE FUCKING PRESSES

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Shit shit shit shit

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : !!!Yes!!!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Oh thank the gods finally

 **The Robot Ahogay** : (｡・//w//・｡)

 **The Hope Ahogay** : ?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : TOOK YOUR SORRY ASSES LONG ENOUGH TO START DATING OH MY GODS

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Makoto help

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Aw hell nah you were just as hyped when Byakuya and I started dating

 **The Detective Ahogay** :

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Fair enough, have a nice day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi!! The thing Makoto said, was:  
> Guys, I just fell down the stairs  
> And  
> Thanks honey, I love you  
> (Literally all I did was go one key to the right or left)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies guys! I'm not going to be able to update tomorrow, I have to get my flu shot so I'll have four or five classes worth of work to catch up on! I do promise to update Wednesday though, so don't worry!!

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:20 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Weed hour

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:37 AM**

**Tech Bean** : Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : You inferior insomniac. You were not awake. You do not know the suffering I went through

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: I'M BETTER THAN YOU

 **Reigen Arataka** : ??

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: What the fuck guys

 **Tech Bean** : I installed a new device on AE's system. I, along with other admins, can toggle it on and off

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: I'm cool as shit so I upped an already perfect AI to rub it in your faces. Also I love my friends hehe

 **Tech Bean** : ...

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: I regret everything

 **Cries In Gucci** : What an interesting development. How are you, Makoto?

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: I'm genuinely intrigued but I don't know how to say it due to my standoffish personality built up after years of trauma. How are you, love of my life?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Aww, thanks Byakuya! I'm fine, doing great!

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: I love you so much words cannot express. Also, I am low-key dying inside! Have a wonderful day!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Woah, Makoto are you good?

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: I AM THE MOM FRIEND

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I have been having a bit of an off day, but it's fine! Total lack of sleep and bit of a migraine doesn't mean or make me sick!

 **Reigen Arataka** :

 **Hope Bagels** :

 **Tech Bean** :

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** :

 **Sherlock Holmes** :

 **Kakegurui** :

 **H2o No You Didn't** :

 **Egg Lesbin** :

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** :

 **Riza Hawkeye** :

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** :

 **Bike Dad** :

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** :

 **(Non)Binary Code** : Translation: Yes it does, Makoto you fucking dumbass of a puppy

 **Tech bean** : I'll just... Disable this function.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Probably for the best

 **Tech Bean** turned off one command

 **Tech Bean** : Hyped for the festival?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

 **Rule Dad** : Professor Naegi! Please stay in bed for today if you do not feel well! Togami can help you out if you need it!

 **Tech Bean** : Professor?

 **Rule Dad** : Professor Naegi helped me realise several new things about friendship, and he taught me things too! Therefore, he is a professor! Would Naegi-Sensei be more appropriate?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : No! Just Professor is fine.

 **Rule Dad** : Of course Professor Naegi!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ...Anyways. Byakuya!! Ur sick bf needs snuggles :(

 **Cries In Gucci** : Hmph. I shall be there momentarily, Makoto.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Cries In Gucci** : <3


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! I was originally planning to do the festival way earlier, but I'm thinking now, how does chapter forty or forty-five sound? I'm doing my best to build up to it but I feel like I'm just failing (╥﹏╥)

**We Make Too Many References**

**12:10 PM**

**Desmond The Moon Bear** : Who here likes blueberry slushies?

 **Blues Clues** : I do!

 **The Entire Circus** : I don't! I abhor them! Get me two!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Good! Cause I just accidentally bought like seventeen!

 **The Entire Circus** : Literally what the fuck?

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Blues Clues** : _K a i t o_

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : ( ╹▽╹ )

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:57 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Guys!! What's up??

 **Tech Bean** : Nothing much, wby?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I'm!!! Really!!! Happy!!!

 **Tech Bean** : That I can see

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : So what's up?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ...Probably shouldn't tell you without permission... ;-;

 **Tech Bean** : Who's permission?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Byakuya's

 **Cries In Gucci** : ...I suppose it is acceptable if you tell them.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : !!!

 **Egg Lesbin** : It's really sweet guys

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Yeah. Almost sickeningly sweet, except it's Makoto so it can't be _too_ sweet.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Wait how do you guys know?

 **Egg Lesbin** : ...You haven't checked the Ahogay™ chat since your date with Ouma yesterday, have you?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** :

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : _That is literally the cutest thing ever oh my gosh-_

 **Bike Dad** : Wanna tell the rest of us before or after new years?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Sorry!! It's just really exciting, y'know??

 **Bike Dad** : I swear if you say something vague one more time

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Sorry!! Just!! Promise rings!! 

**Tech Bean** : So... Wedding after graduation?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Fuji!! Yes!! PM me so we can plan it!!

 **Cries In Gucci** : So I have no say over my own wedding?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : HHHH!!! YOU JUST SAID YOU'D MARRY ME IN THE FUTU

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : There he goes. Congrats, Togami. You broke your boyfriend and would-be-fiance.

 **Cries In Gucci** :

 **Cries In Gucci** : FUCK


	31. Chapter 31

**Ahogays Unite**

**2:20 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : You know what? Screw sleep. Who needs sleep. Or skin? Who needs skin?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I think you need both, Makoto.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : But I don't want eitherrr!!

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Don't make me sic Hajime on you

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : YOU WOULDN'T DARE

 **The Piano Ahogay** : @The Spikey Ahogay

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : You called?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : I need you to go all mother-hen on Makoto again. He's being a little bitch-boy about sleeping.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : But Kaedeeeeeeeee!!!!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Makoto.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Yessir!

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**6:49 AM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : Hey Kaede? Could you let the class know I won't be in today? I have to do... Stuff.

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Stuff wouldn't happen to be a new pet name for Ouma, would it?

 **The Detective Ahogay** :

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Don't worry! I'll let everyone know! Just messing with you! :P

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Thanks, Kaede!

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:45 PM**

**Tech Bean** : Hey, is that Saihara on the news?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh dang

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : So that's what he meant by stuff.

 **Reigen Arataka** : Wait I'm not watching the news rn what's up?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Shuichi solved this huge missing persons case; you know Amami, from the other first year class? All twelve of his sisters went missing, and Shuichi, who had found all of them so far, just found the last one too.

 **Tech Bean** : Speaking of Amami-kun, is he the one holding that purple gremlin like a teddy bear to stop him from attacking reporters?

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Indeed. I believe that Ouma knows of Shuichi's extreme dislike of crowds and attention, so he easily figured out how much he hated the current situation. 

**Sherlock Holmes** : The tears on Shuichi's face certainly make it easier to reach a conclusion.

 **Tech Bean** : Oh my gods he just threw a Panta at the reporters

 **H2o No You Didn't** : WHAT??

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Yass!!! It's, like, totes fabulous!!! He's such a little bastard, watching him fight is like watching a drama show!!!

 **Rule Dad** : Such misconduct from a student...! It's unforgivable!

 **Bike Dad** : C'mon bro, let the little dude off the hook just this once, okay? Wouldn't you do the same if Fuji was being hounded by reporters?

 **Rule Dad** : I... I suppose I can allow it... But only one time!!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Character development. Lovely.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Gods damn it all where is a jazz hands emoji when you need one!?!?!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hajime. Use an emoji once in this fucking household and I will dropkick your ass so hard Sakura will be jealous. Do you understand?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** :

 **Rule Dad** :

 **Bike Dad** :

 **Tech Bean** :

 **H2o No You Didn't** : 

**Reigen Arataka** :

 **Sherlock Holmes** :

 **Kakegurui** :

 **Riza Hawkeye** :

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : 

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Uh, I mean

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hajime please don't use an emoji?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Damn, son


	32. Chapter 32

**Gaymers And Co**

**5:22 AM**

**Oramge Juimce** : Just kill me now

 **#Hope4President2020** : What about Izuru?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Fuck Izuru he's an asshole

 **#Hope4President2020** :

 **#Hope4President2020** : (Damn it I wish you were wrong)

 **The OG Gaymer** : What's the matter, Hajime?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Y'all are fully ultimate and can showcase your talent at the festival, so only Nagi, Makoto, and I have to do it, but we have these big ol' tests along with the mandatory ones you have to do, so essentially I don't have any free time until the festival cause I'm not super smart ;-;

 **Oramge Juimce** : And Izuru's being an ass and said he wouldn't front for during the test. I think he's just scared he'll fail

 **Oramge Juimce** : I am not, Hajime. I think it would be boring if you used me. Also, it would be cheating so shhh.

 **Coca Cola** : ?!?!?

 **Oramge Juimce** : He told me y'all had to know his reasoning

 **Monch** : If my stands by Teruteru's, I demand free food

 **Cooking Mama** : Sure~ For the right price~

 **Monch** : ...I just fucking said free, you illiterate coward

 **Cooking Mama** :

 **Oramge Juimce** : Damn Akane you killed him.

 **Oramge** **Juimce** : Thanks

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**6:19 PM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : Guys, if Kiibo, Kaede, and I don't respond tomorrow, know we died bravely

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : It's pointless Shuichi. We have no hope of survival. She is coming.

 **The Detective Ahogay** : But she's your gf she won't kill you

 **The Piano** **Ahogay** : You underestimate her perseverance.

 **The Detective Ahogay** : oH MY GODS SHE GOT KIIBO NOW SHE'S GONNA GE

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Shuichi?? SHUICHI?!?!?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : I'M THE SOLE SURVIVOR

 **The Piano Ahogay** : WISH ME LUCK AND I MAY MAKE IT OUT OF THIS MASSACRE ALI

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Rip

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Rip

 **The Book Ahogay** : Rip

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Rip

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Rip


	33. Chapter 33

**Ahogays Unite**

**3:27 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : So... What the heckkie happened yesterday?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : We all know your inner Fuyuhiko. There's no need to censor yourself Makoto

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : But yeah, what happened?

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : I think they're busy right now

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : In fact, they're probably sLEEPING LIKE YOU SHOULD BE

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Hypocrite

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : I have off for parent teacher conferences tomorrow, stfu

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : D:

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**7:49 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Okay now I'm kinda worried

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Is no one going to explain the massive fricking motorcycle parked in the dorm???

 **Bike Dad** : ...

 **Tech Bean** : ...

 **Sherlock Holmes** : It _is_ Mondo's bike. I know you were wondering, Makoto.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Mondo, can you move it? It's parked on my sandwich

 **H2o No You Didn't** : Can confirm, Makoto walked into the dorm and went, in the saddest, most annoyed tone of voice, "Who parked their bike, on my sandwich?"

 **Bike Dad** : Makoto's sandwich never survives long enough for him to finish it

 **Bike Dad** : The bike makes no difference

**Long-Suffering Egg** : It makes a difference in my heart!!

 **Cries In Gucci** : It would be far too easy for me to get you another one, of much higher quality, if you wish so, Makoto.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : That'd be great! Maybe with the power of our love, my sandwich child will survive tomorrow! <3

 **Cries In Gucci** : The power of love... How ridiculous. 

**Cries In Gucci** : ...<3

 **Tech Bean** : Ok but why is his sandwich the only thing other than him affected by his luck? I mean, Komaeda-Senpai affects everyone around him, but Makoto, from what I've seen, only has his luck on himself and apparently his sandwich??

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : We do not question Lady Luck and her choices

 **Tech Bean** : ??

 **Tech Bean** : What does that mean??

 **Tech Bean** : Makoto??

 **Tech Bean** : Makoto????


	34. Chapter 34

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:01 PM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : Kiibo, should we be worried?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Definitely

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : What's up?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Kichi kicked my door down, grabbed my police tape, my hat, my glasses, and told me he's "Off to cause problems on purpose!"

 **The Detective Ahogay** : He says that like he _isn't_ the problem in and of itself

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:27 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Uh, guys? Is someone... Playing a kazoo?? At like, six thousand times normal volume??

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Is that what that is??

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : ...Gods I'm so sorry.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Kichi found Miu's noise amplifier, (Made for... Unmentionable reasons) and he stole Kazuichi-Senpai's entire kazoo supply

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : So that's why Soda was screaming about his 'children' being missing?

 **Cries In Gucci** : Do kindly rein your boyfriend in. Is your other one too busy to help you do so?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Kiibo's on his way to Idabashi-San's place for some repairs, has been since around five. A certain unfriendly neighborhood gremlin got Panta in his wiring

 **Tech Bean** : Damn be nice to your bfs bro

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : I haven't slept in almost a week and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to hallucinate, so shut your up

 **Tech Bean** : Fair enough

 **Rule Dad** : Saihara! Have you had any food or water today? It is a vital part of your daily intake!

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Guess that means it's time to go-

 **Rule Dad** : _S a i h a r a g e t y o u r d e h y d r a t e d b u t t b a c k h e r e r i g h t n o w_

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : @Hajimeme Gaynata

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Mum come pick me up I'm scared

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : No fuck off you absolute raisin

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Makoto?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ...

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Sorry Shuichi, you're on your own here, I've already got Komaru on my case about the same thing

 **Tech Bean** : Haha y'all admit when you're suffering?? That's so last year!! _I_ simply perish!!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't update yesterday!! I got really caught up in a sudden surge of homework and tests I'm so sorry!!

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**1:21 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : gUYS WHAT THE FRICK FRACK TICK TACK PADDYWHACK SNICK SNACK BIG MAC COMING BACK WAS THAT??

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : ...The gym

 **Reigen Arataka** : Holy hecc five abs and one pec that was the gym?? What, was there a bomb or something??

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** :

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : _Hajime what the hell_

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Who would blow up the gym?? Isn't it time for your test or whatever?? Wait is that why?? Still, who would do that??

 **Hope Bagels** :

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Nagito tell me you didn't

 **Hope Bagels** : But how could I lie to an ultimate of your caliber?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : _N a g i t o_

 **Hope Bagels** : ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

 **Tech Bean** : Yo what the actual heck

 **Tech Bean** : Never mind, I don't wanna know. In other news, guess who just got pranked by a fucking gremlin?

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Oh gods, what'd he do?

 **Tech Bean** : Whipped cream everywhere. All over my dorm room. And fire extinguisher foam in the whipped cream canisters. I really hope he didn't swap them.

 **Tech Bean** : Otherwise, Miu's next explosion will make the place delicious but deadly.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Sorry, I'll ask him to stop with the pranks.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : ...He said he's the next Naruto what does that mean

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : oH

 **Sherlock Holmes** : ...We're really just going to ignore the explosion and the bomb?

 **Kakegurui** : Yup!

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Very well then.

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**1:37 PM**

**The OG Gaymer** : Nagito, why did you blow up the gym?

 **Oramge Juimce** : Istg if you did it to delay tests again

 **Oramge Juimce** : That'd be the second time this year, Nagi

 **#Hope4President2020** : (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

 **Oramge Juimce** : NAGI ARE YOU FOR REAL

 **#Hope4President2020** : (◍•ᴗ•◍)

 **Coca Cola** : Dude I knew it was you!! See, Miss Sonia? Aren't I amazing?

 **Princess Peach** : Komaeda, you were not injured, were you?

 **#Hope4President2020** : Nope! Ultimates such as yourself needn't worry about someone like me!

 **#Hope4President2020** : Hajime!! I didn't call myself trash!! Are you proud? Can I have cuddles?

 **Oramge Juimce** : ...Yes and yes. <3

 **#Hope4President2020** : <<<333

 **Coca Cola** : PDA bitches


	36. Chapter 36

**Ahogays Unite**

**3:45 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : Guys what's Banana Fish?

 **The Piano Ahogay** :

 **The Hope Ahogay** :

 **The Robot Ahogay** :

 **The Spikey Ahogay** :

 **The Book Ahogay** :

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** :

 **The Detective Ahogay** : ...

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Makoto, come over to my dorm room, 'kay? Kiibo, Kichi, and I have something to show you.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ? Okay?

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**12:33 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : oH GODS

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : OH GODS I NEED MY FLUFFY FLUFF SCARF

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Please please _please_ tell me you filmed it

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Kiibo's filming it right now; Makoto has tears literally pouring down his face

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Man I wish I had a mug right now

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Damn that's evil. You sound like Hajime

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Hey!! I'm not evil!! Nagi back me up!!

 **The Hope Ahogay** :

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : (ʘ言ʘ╬)

 **The Hope Ahogay** : (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) 

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : AAHDKAUEJAKUEFNAKFIAHW

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : SAYONARADJVKSIXISNDJCIS

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : So when's his funeral?

 **The Book Ahogay** : You're his family; you tell us.

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Y'all killed him, y'all pay

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Don't worry, I know how to hide bodies so well you won't need a funeral. I just need an emotional support bf or two? 

**The Robot Ahogay** : Of course! <3

 **The Detective Ahogay** : (◍•ᴗ•◍)-<3

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**12:35 PM**

**Cries In Gucci** : Saihara, care to tell me why my Makoto came back from your dorm room in tears? There is a literal puddle forming in my lap start explaining.

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Banana Fish

 **Cries In Gucci** : Understandable, have a nice day

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Makoto needs water. He's dehydrated on the best of days.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Don't forget to give him lots of hugs and kisses! Those are the best emotional cure! 

**Byakuya's Personal Simp** : (｡•//////•｡)

 **Reigen Arataka** : Wish I had me a good Banana Fish cry fest rn

 **Tech Bean** : A mood

 **Tech Bean** : But y'all don't have enough built up internal trauma and suppressed emotions to cry on command? Cowards. Wimps. Weaklings. Perish before my emotionally unstable wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Writes this chapter while in literal tears from the sad half of the Banana Fish fandom*


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just watched Saiki K, and I wanna write something for it if I'm being honest. I just have no ideas? I do hc Kusuo as ace/aro, which might just be me seizing every possible ace/aro character and projecting on them but eh.

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:10 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : I'm still sad no one got my Noragami reference

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** :

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : _Makoto it's four in the fucking morning go to sleep you idiot insomniac_

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : No u

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Ouch

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : But true

 **Tech Bean** : Hey guys guess what!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : What's up, Fuji?

 **Tech Bean** : I just impulse bought four hoodies!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Heck yeah!! Can I have one?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : (◕ᴗ◕✿)

 **Tech Bean** : Sure!! I'll drop it off when they arrive - dw, I know your favorite color :p

 **Bike Dad** : 10/10, very wholesome

 **Bike Dad** : But seriously get the fuck to sleep

 **Tech Bean** : :(

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :(

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**6:27 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : @ **Egg Lesbin**

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Why the heckie did I just get a text from mum about a notice of three weeks of missing schoolwork from your school??

 **Egg Lesbin** : Uh

 **Egg Lesbin** : Pretty gf,,, v distracting,,, gotta nap on that tiddie,,,

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Understandable. I am engaging in a similar activity at the moment, albeit in a lap instead.

 **Kakegurui** : Kyoko's like a heating pad; she's a wonderful asset to a comfy day.

 **Sherlock Holmes** : <3

 **Kakegurui** : <3

 **Hatsune Miku** : My gf is busy with archery practice cause of the school festival :/

 **Hatsune Miku** : But she looks hella hot when she's aiming, so I ain't complaining ',:)

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : That is the most cursed non-emoji emoticon I have ever seen why would you send that Sayaka

 **Hatsune Miku** : :)

 **Cries In Gucci** : Do cease. I can hear your aggravating laughter through the window.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : D:

 **Cries In Gucci** : Makoto, I am not referring to you. You are literally leaning on me how would I hear you through a window??

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :D

 **Bike Dad** : Where's my bro at? Everyone else has cute moments so where the hell is mine?

 **Rule Dad** : I'm right here bro!

 **Bike Dad** : Bro!

 **Rule Dad** : Bro!

 **Bike Dad** : Bro!! <3

 **Rule Dad** : Bro!! <3

 **Rule Dad** : But phones away it's time for class!

 **Tech Bean** : Okay dad

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Okay dad

 **Hatsune Miku** : Okay dad


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird I don't remember writing any of these chapters the next day

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:39 PM**

**Egg Lesbin** : Hey guys 

**Egg Lesbin** : What would you say if I maybe

 **Egg Lesbin** : Burnt a lemon in the microwave?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : _K o m a r u w h a t t h e h e l l_

 **Egg Lesbin** : Well, I heard microwaving a lemon for forty minutes covered up smells, and I needed to cover up the smell of burnt orange so

 **Egg Lesbin** : I microwaved a lemon for forty minutes, and it burnt :/

 **Tech Bean** : And how, pray tell, did you do that?

 **Egg Lesbin** : Microwaved an orange for forty minutes, and it burnt :/

 **Long-Suffering Egg** :

 **Cries In Gucci** : Gods damnit, you broke him you plebe

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Aww, lil' gay bb tsundere is worried bout his bf!!

 **Cries In Gucci** : Silence, thot

 **Hatsune Miku** : Oh DaMn JuNkO vS bYaKuYa RiCh Ho BaTtLe SuPrEmE

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : Omaru you did WHAT

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**6:27 PM**

**The Science Show! Piano!** : Sometimes I just wish my name was my real situation, y'know

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Kaede Akamatsu?

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : (눈‸눈)

 **The Entire Circus** : She means her username, idiot!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** :

 **Blues Clues** : C'mon gays, don't fight!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : *guys, gotta hate autocorrect, right?

 **Blues Clues** : Yeah that's why I turned it off, Kaito.

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : ;-;

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : You're so lucky Maki's training rn or you'd actually die

 **Blues Clues** : (• ▽ •;)

 **You're A Big Spoon? I'm A knIFE-** : Shuichi. Run.

 **Blues Clues** : ヘ(• ▽ •;)ヘ

 **The Ultimate Mom Friend** : Why did Saihara just sprint by the dorms?

 **The Entire Circus** : GO WHITE BOY GO

 **The Entire Circus** : RUN FOR YOUR LIFE SHUUMAI, YOU LITTLE CRY BABY

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : You can't call him little that's hypocritical

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **The EntireCircus** : We're going to have two dead bodies to dispose of.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I posted a Haikyuu fic, right? And I posted it like five hours ago, _right?_
> 
> So why does it have three bookmarks?? (●´⌓`●)
> 
> Also, completely unrelated, but the first Noragami opening is an absolute BOP

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:37 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : GUYS

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : ?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I FOUND THE MOST POWERFUL GOD

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : ??

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : K U S U O S A I K I

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : 

**Detective Conan Fanboy** : Fair-

 **Tech Bean** : Yo I heard Saiki K?

 **Tech Bean** : I have no context atm, but I'm in

 **Tech Bean** : Oh he is the most OP god of all

 **Egg Lesbin** : Sorry to burst your bubble kids, but I'm pretty sure Sakura is the goddess of lesbians, and with the amount at your school? She could probably destroy the world with one punch

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : *Cue One Punch Man opening, but with OHSHC level sakura petals*

 **Rule Dad** : Children! Proceed to the dining hall for dinner!

 **Tech Bean** : But daaaaaaaaad!

 **Rule Dad** : ಠ_ಠ

 **Tech Bean** : Yessir!

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**5:38 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : Taka holds too much power

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Seconded

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Thirded

 **The Book Ahogay** : I agree too

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Yup

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Absolutely without a doubt

 **The Piano Ahogay** : ??

 **The Robot Ahogay** : ??

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I'll tell you in class, dw

 **The Piano Ahogay** : M'kay

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Shuichi, I'm literally sitting in your lap, simply tell me

 **The Detective Ahogay** : But Kichi's here too, and he'll ask what I mean, and then he'll demand to be let in here. Not that I don't love him with all my heart and I would die for him, but... Well, he'd probably kill half of you in the first hour

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : U right, u right

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : oH SHOOT TAKA'S COMING HE SAW MY PHO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates in the past couple days, I've been caught up preparing for the foster puppy, doing schoolwork, and writing my actual stories. I know that's unacceptable excuse, and I am deeply sorry.
> 
> On a side note, I've fallen in love with the show Saiki K, and I heavily ~~project on~~ headcanon Kusuo as ace/aro since I am too! Also, ngl, I freaking love Akechi ;-;


	40. Chapter 40

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**7:37 PM**

**Tech Bean** : Okay guys, gals, and nb pals, theory time

 **Tech Bean** : So, it's all but confirmed that Nagisa's blood lust comes from his mom, right? Well, it's never confirmed as to why Karma felt it's presence so early on, even without practice honing his skill and Nagisa's being undeveloped. This leads me to believe that Karma's home life may be similar to Nagisa's. Even if it isn't, he gets into fights regularly, and despite the fact that every other student flashback includes clips of disappointed parents, or at least mentions them, Karma never once brings them up. This means they are either dead, unwanted, neglectful, not there, or abusive. If they are one of the former rather than the latter, it's easy to conclude Karma's skills in observation and detection come from his street fighting, which, again, is a worrying habit. He is shown to have cuts and bruises from these fights, all of which are prominent enough to be noticed immediately, so either his parents are actually blind, plain stupid, or one of the types listed above. From there we can safely assume that the reason Karma tried to rekindle his and Nagisa's friendship is due to feelings of guilt, since Nagisa's mother is horribly abusive both emotionally and physically, and his father is very much neglectful. (Also he's totally in love but this isn't a KarmaGisa rant so like-) Korosensei, despite how incredible he is, did one of the worst things possible, and rather than helping Nagisa escape, he made his parents get back together, forcing him to live with not one, but two awful people! Karma, his closest friend, is no doubt the one he confided in; even back before, when they were in their first and second years. I think that the reason their friendship was so easily recovered was because Nagisa had spilled so many secrets, and obviously was close to Karma. Karma, in turn, was close to Nagisa, and sympathised with him, leading to their lifelong friendship. (Romance *wink wink*)

 **Egg Lesbin** : I read Nagisa and thought you were talking about Free,,, Thug-isa makes a comeback?

 **H2o No You Didn't** : Absolutely not

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : ...I thought Nagisa Shingetsu... Oh my gods...

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Rip

 **Sugino Tomohito** : That's the show my username comes from, right?

 **Tech Bean** : ThAt'S tHe ShOw My UsErNaMe cOmEs FrOm, RiGhT?

 **Tech Bean** : It is work of art, heathen! 

**Bike Dad** : Okay Fuji, calm down, we can hear you growling from the common space.

 **Tech Bean** : Fine, but I'll be grumpy!!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Grumpy's better than livid!

 **Hatsune Miku** : You really dodged a bullet there Leon

 **Sugino Tomohito** : (˘･_･˘ゞ)

 **Tech Bean** : :)

 **Sugino Tomohito** : (´-﹏-`；)・・・

 **Tech Bean** : :))))


	41. Chapter 41

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:57 PM**

**Egg Lesbin** : Guys, don't freak out, but neither Makoto or Shuichi are going to be in school today

 **Cries In Gucci** : Indeed. Both will be out for the entirety of the week, in fact.

 **Sherlock Holmes** : I'll inform our teachers. My father already knows, but in case you hadn't noticed, a majority of Hope's Peak's computers have gone down, due to a certain inventor getting a tad overenthusiastic with her toys.

 **Egg Lesbin** : Well rip to y'all, but I'm built different

 **Reigen Arataka** : So no one's gonna tell me why they're out?

 **Egg Lesbin** : They have a good reason, if that's what you're saying!

 **Cries In Gucci** : It is a private matter that you would best keep out of, plebe, lest I find out you've invaded someone's privacy. It would not end well for you, and that is all you need to know.

 **Egg Lesbin** : They might be online a bit today, but I know Makoto's going to bed early, and Shuichi is probably being strong-armed into sleeping.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Can confirm, he's texted the Ahogay™ chat for help several times

 **Egg Lesbin** : I muted that after Hajime's seventh rant about the beauty and elegance of orange juice

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Oi.  


 **Egg** **Lesbin** : Sorry not sorry

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : _Oi._

 **Sugino Tomohito** : So you're seriously not gonna tell us?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : They asked us not to; Makoto's divulged the knowledge to the people he thinks _won't_ accidentally tell the entire school.

 **Tech Bean** : Yup! So, essentially, most of our class, almost all of Hajime's class, the principal, and a few of his friends from Shuichi's class. 

**Tech Bean** : Well, they found out from Shuichi and then Makoto confirmed that he was too.

 **Reigen Arataka** : Was what?

 **Tech Bean** : Going.

 **Sherlock Holmes** : That's enough questions. Silence your peasant chatter.

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : HAKFKSGDOSJDJDISKF

 **The Detective Ahogay** : HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Calm down, guys

 **The Robot Ahogay** : What's wrong?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Did something happen?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Makoto's classmates kept asking about why he'd be out for the last couple days of the week, along with Shuichi

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Did he tell them?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : No, not yet, I'm just,,, a bit worried. About how it'll go over. T though! T!!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : T!!!!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : T!!!!!!!!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : :DDD

 **The Detective Ahogay** : :)

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : *Wipes away tear* I'm so proud of y'all...

 **The Book Ahogay** : Hmph. Congrats.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Hehe you're happy Toko

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : She's smiling! Well, not anymore, but you know what I mean!

 **The Book Ahogay** : Omaru

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Okay okay! I'll stop!

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Aren't you two in the same room?

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Yeah, and?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** :

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : ...Never mind.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not how it actually works, but I'm going to use SHSL to represent people who are skilled but not yet perfect, and Ultimate to represent people who have complete mastery over their talent.

**Ahogays Unite**

**3:44 PM**

**The Spikey Ahogay** : Kiibo, I hope it's not rude to ask, but I've been wondering this for a while.

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : If you're a robot, does that mean you don't have a gender? Or is there some sort of implant?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : No worries, Hajime! It's not rude, you're just curious! 

**The Robot Ahogay** : ...Though I suppose it's merely a less vulgar rephrasing of Kichi's question.

 **The Piano Ahogay** : You mean when he asked if robots had dicks? Shuichi told me about that one

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Yeah, that's what I was referring to.

 **The Robot Ahogay** : To answer your question, I do not have a biological sex, though I identify as male, and would appreciate it if you'd call me such.

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Thanks for clearing that up Kiibo! A couple of my other classmates were wondering too, specifically Soda, since his whole SHSL Mechanic and whatnot.

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Wait, is he the kid with the pink hair and shark teeth? Y'know, like Rin lite?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** :

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : o h m y g o d s

 **The Spikey Ahogay** shared two texts with user **Kazuichi Soda**

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Chiaki called you poggers btw

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : What an honor, a gift, to be called poggers by such a goddess

 **The Book Ahogay** : D:

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : I'll always love you more tho <3

 **The Book Ahogay** : ( ´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) <3

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Shuichi's phone is dead, but he would like me to tell you he thought that was 'an exquisite sentence', Komaru.

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Oh, and guess who broke his phone the very second he got his first shot?

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : My brother?

 **The Robot Ahogay** : Yeah, Makoto dropped it down the stairs since he was too excited.

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Not surprised

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:49 PM**

**Tech Bean** : I came out to my cousin, the girl Chiaki in the class above, exactly one year ago today. 

**Tech Bean** : I told her I was non-binary, her reply was, and I quote,

 **Tech Bean** : 'Non-binnry? Not even a little binnry? Fucking sweet.' Before she promptly fell asleep on the spot.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Chiaki's narcolepsy has caused many similar incidents

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Has anyone seen Shuichi today? I have some info I believe he will want to hear.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : His phone's dead, but I think you can text Kiibo. They're together right now, so that'd probably work

 **Sherlock Holmes** : I see. Thank you, Hajime.

 **Cries In Gucci** : As a heads up, Makoto requested I tell you he broke his phone. He told me he didn't want me to put it on rush order, so he'll get the new one tomorrow.

 **Reigen Arataka** : I'm scared of your rush order now

 **Cries In Gucci** : As you should be.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a completely unrelated note, the song Sweet Hibiscus Tea fits Danganronpa so well I- Hhhhh-  
> On a more relevant note, now that we're talking about songs, why the hell does Busted from Phineas And Ferb fit Danganronpa??  
> Oh! If any of y'all have any good Danganronpa animatics or playlists inspired by Danganronpa, lemme know!!

**We Make Too Many References**

**5:47 PM**

**The Science Show! Piano!** : How is everyone today?

 **Blues Clues** : Crying!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : In the middle of a space rant with one of the upperclassmen atm

 **The Entire Circus** : Hugging Shuumai!  


 **You're A Big Spoon? Well I'm A** **knIFE-** : Watching Kaito roast the shit out of an upperclassmen with his space knowledge

 **The Entire Circus** : Hmm, I feel like... Shuumai needs more hugs!!  


 **The Entire Circus** : Later assholes

 **Blues Clues** : Completely off topic, but before I go, I'm pretty sure I just found a 147k+ words fanfiction of an Assassination Classroom and Tokyo Ghoul crossover as well as a 579k+ words fanfiction of Tokyo Ghoul's protag going to OHSHC and a 612k+ words fanfiction of Assassination Classroom characters in OHSHC?? Written by?? Tsumugi?? And Hifumi??

 **Coraline** : I'm sorry, I couldn't resist! The ideas are so beautiful! I even have HideKane planned for both the TG works! And I'm maybe planning a Soul Eater crossover fic? And a HP x FMAB fic?

 **Coraline** : Oh he's gone

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Tsumugi!! Slumber party!! Read them to me!! :DDD  


 **Coraline** : Yeah!!!  


* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:59 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : You know who's long overdue for a username change

 **Long-Suffering** **Egg** : Specifically one to match the other person with their talent

 **Detective Conan Fanboy** : Uh oh  


 **Long-Suffering Egg** changed **Detective Conan Fanboy** 's username  


 **Sherlock Homo** :  


 **Sherlock** **Homo** : Surprisingly fitting.

 **Sherlock Holmes** : Is that not what Miu called you? In the third... You know.

 **Sherlock Homo** : Yeah. I do like it though; change it and you revoke your rights to kneecaps

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hey quick question

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : If I accidentally called Izuru Izzy to his face, how long do I have to live and should I be typing my will

 **Egg Lesbin** : F  


 **Sherlock Homo** : F  


 **Sherlock Holmes** : F

 **Kakegurui** : F

 **Tech Bean** : F

 **Riza Hawkeye** : F

 **Sugino Tomohito** : F

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : F

 **Hatsune Miku** : F

 **Hope Bagels** : F

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Well shit

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**7:37 AM**

**The Spikey Ahogay** : Consider yourself lucky, Makoto Naegi. Hajime wishes for me to spare your life, though I will not restrain myself if you or anyone else other than Nagito or Hajime call me that. Chiaki is another possible acception.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Oh holy hell I thought you were gonna kill me for realsies don't DO that Izuru!!!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Makoto, Kamakura, do you two have anything to do with the blood splatter and consequential trail leasing from your class's dorm to the bathroom?? 

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : I plead the fifth?

 **The Detective Ahogay** :

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I swear to the gods Togami's going to murder me


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the break in updates, I wanted to finish writing my other fic before returning to this one. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**2:47 AM**

**Hajimeme Gaynata** : :/

 **Hope** **Bagels** : What's wrong Hajime?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : We don't match

 **Tech Bean** : Easily fixed  


 **Tech Bean** changed **Hope Bagels** 's username  


 **SoggyToe Bromaeda** :  


 **SoggyToe** **Bromaeda** : What the fuck

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:01 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : I just found Nagito?? Crying?? More than usual?? Hajime what did you do??

 **Hajimeme** **Gaynata** : In my defense, it's all Fujisaki's fault

 **Tech Bean** : Ouch betrayal hurts  


 **Tech Bean** : I see why revenge is best served cold - you can use it like an ice pack :(  


 **Bike** **Dad** : Okay who the hell made Fuji sad??

 **Rule Dad** : We just want to talk.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Oh shit oh fuck he used a period not exclamation points I'm so dead I'm so de

 **SoggyToe Bromaeda** : Darn it shoulda killed me instead  


 **Sherlock Homo** deleted one message  


 **SoggyToe Bromaeda** : ?  


 **Sherlock** **Homo** : Hajime's not here to do it anymore so the duty of my fallen brethren goes to me

 **Sherlock Homo** : Don't be self-deprecating dumbass  


 **Long-Suffering Egg** : That's mighty hypocritical of you  


 **Sherlock Homo** : Shut your up you dehydrated worm  


 **Sherlock Holmes** : Drink your water Makoto.  


 **Long-Suffering Egg** : No  


 **Sherlock Holmes** : Then become the dirt I walk on.  


 **Cries In** **Gucci** : Kyoko, I suggest you cease such blather immediately.

 **Sherlock Homo** : Togami it's called friendly teasing for a reason - there's no harm meant

 **Cries In Gucci** :   


**Tech** **Bean** : You poor, poor creature

 **Cries In Gucci** : Silence plebe  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, serious talk folks: I had a planned time for when the festival chapter was supposed to come out. Unfortunately, with the influx of work and major tests surrounding winter break, it's looking less and less likely that I'll meet my self-imposed deadline. Fortunately, I can (semi-)confidently say that it _will_ come out before new years.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Like I (think I) said last chapter, updates will be a tad slower due to school, but will (most likely) pick back up over the holidays.

**Gaymers And Co**

**4:52 PM**

**Tenko Kinnie** : Are women bibles to men or what

 **\\(≧▽≦)/** : IBUKI DOES NOT UNDERSTAND!

 **Tenko** **Kinnie** : Because men keep purposefully misinterpreting our words to fit their selfish agendas.

 **Oramge Juimce** : Damn.

 **#Hope4President2020** : Damn.

 **The OG Gaymer** : Damn...

 **\\(≧▽≦)/** : IBUKI STILL DOES NOT UNDERSTAND!

 **Nurse Joy** : I'll tell you later! Don't be mad at me! I'm sorry!

 **\\(≧▽≦)/** : IBUKI THINKS YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGISE FOR! SHE THINKS YOU'RE TOO PERFECT TO DO STUFF WRONG! JUNKO TOLD IBUKI SO!

 **Nurse Joy** :

 **Tenko Kinnie** : ...Anyways. I have an issue with my name

 **Tenko Kinnie** : I was here first

 **The OG Gaymer** changed **Tenko Kinnie** 's username

 **Photo Feminist** : ...Better.

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**6:27 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : Y'ALL

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I FOUND MC'FRICKING _HOPE'S PEAK FANFICTION_

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : what.

 **The Detective** **Ahogay** : Hrajfhakdhahwhatthehell

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I k n o w .

 **The Piano** **Ahogay** : Why did Shuichi just throw his phone at me? It wasn't even unlocked, I had to use my own.

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Oh! Was it Tsumugi and Hifumi's collab? The medieval au?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : _You knew about this??_

 **The Detective Ahogay** :

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Did we break him?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Judging from the pitch of his embarrassed whine/wail/scream/thing, I think that's a safe assumption.

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Please tell me it wasn't smut

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : 1 it wasn't, don't worry.

 **The Fluffy** **Ahogay** : 2 It had?? So many?? Beautiful pairings?? Remind me to thank Tsmoggi, k?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Yessir!

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**2:59 AM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Tell me whyy

 **Byakuya's Personal** **Simp** : AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEAAAARTAAAAACHE

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Tell me whyy

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : AIN'T NOTHING BUT A MIIIIISTAAAAAKE

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Tell my whyy

 **Tech Bean** : I never want to hear you saaayyyy

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : IIIIII WAAAANT IIIIIIIT THAAAAAAT WAAAAAAAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. Oh my goodness. _Why is there so much work now **hhhhhhhhhhh**_
> 
> P.S: I didn't even realise I wrote Tsmoggi for like ten minutes,,, I'm not changing it


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's anything about this you don't understand, or a reference you want added in, or a chapter suggestion, just let me know!

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:37 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : No thoughts, head empty, only In Another Life and The Galaxy Is Endless (I Thought We Were Too)

 **Tech** **Bean** : Darn it Makoto I almost forgot about them too

 **Egg Lesbin** : "I found you!"

 **Byakuya's Personal Simp** : "You found me..."

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : AHFKAIDKAUIFKAJFIAKSG

 **Cries In Gucci** : Makoto! Are you alright?

 **Long-Suffering** **Egg** : Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 **Egg Lesbin** : Suffer bitch

 **Tech Bean** : Jokes on you I'm watching Hoshi's cats while he and Gonta go on their date so I can cuddle something soft and fluffy while I cry

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I can... Cuddle Byakuya's hair? Please?

 **Cries In** **Gucci** : ...Fine.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Aww, so sweet! Rip to y'all, but I'm built different.

 **Shamrock** : He means his sadness was overridden by Izuru because his distress levels went so high reading IAL that Izuru fronted for like a week

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** :

 **Shamrock** :

 **Egg Lesbin** : _T e a_

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**5:49 PM**

**Desmond The Moon Bear** : Guys I just found Shuichi curled up in the closet crying

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : I can't get him to come out

 **The Entire Circus** : Tell him we already know he's gay!

 **Roomba** : It is alright everyone! Do not worry; Shuichi simply read a... Fanfiction, I believe it's called, and found it sad!

 **Coraline** : Which one? It's plain to see it must be sad.

 **Roomba** : It was two, In Another Life and The Galaxy Is Endless (I Thought We Were Too)

 **Coraline** : Oh boy

 **The Entire Circus** : I'll grab tissues

 **Coraline** : Good call.

 **Desmond The Moon** **Bear** : Sidekick keeps muttering about the snow what do I do

 **The Entire Circus** : Tell him that it's really snowing!

 **Coraline** : That's pretty evil, Ouma.

 **The Entire Circus** : I know! But the more Shuumai is sad now, the longer I get cuddles!

 **Daedalus** : You know Detective Twink would cuddle you whenever you want, right?

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Hey, sidekick's actually really strong! We still do our workouts and everything!

 **The Entire Circus** : You just watch though!

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** :

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Why did he even read those if they made him sad?

 **Roomba** : The other first year main course class kept talking about it both on the chat and in the halls and Shuichi wanted to check them out, so... Yeah.

 **Desmond The Moon Bear** : Yikes

 **The Entire Circus** : I have pillows and blankets and tea! Where's Shuumai?

 **Desmond The Moon** **Bear** : He's in the upstairs closet, next to the bathroom

 **Roomba** : Kokichi and I shall be there shortly!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, guess which two fics I reread today? I just needed a good crying session before I recorded my history assignment.


	47. Chapter 47

**We Make Too Many References**

**4:20 AM**

**Guacamole** : What the hot gosh diddley darn ramma blam FUCK

 **Blues** **Clues** : What's the matter Rantaro?

 **Guacamole** : Kork just referenced seven extremely outdated memes, four vines, and one TikTok, and then he flipping _booked it_ across the lawn

 **Blues Clues** : Didn't you know? Korekiyo's a memelord. Says it counts as part of his talent.  


 **Guacamole** : @ **ShinGUCCI** babe is this true

 **ShinGUCCI** : Truer words have never been spoken  


 **The Entire Circus** : Nishishishi! If good ol' mister Kork's a bigger meme then I, maybe I should step up my game?  


 **Roomba** : Oh, you really don't have to!

 **The Entire Circus** : Don't worry Keebs! I want to!

 **Blues Clues** : No he's right Kichi. You _really_ don't have to.

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **The Entire Circus** : WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! SHUUMAI AND KEEBS ARE BULLYING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

 **Ultimate Mom Friend** : Silence, thot.

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **Daedalus** : HA! Even maid kink over here's a better memer than you! How's that feel, you little grape gremlin?

 **The Entire Circus** : _Mum teach me your ways_

 **The Entire Circus** : Also could you grab me Panta? And a bottle of Panta?

 **Ultimate Mom** **Friend** : Of course. I'll bring her treats up as well. Just remember to leave your door open; you know she doesn't like being out in the open.

 **The Entire Circus** : I'm sleeping over with DICE! There's no worrying about locked doors if everyone's a lockpick!

 **Blues Clues** : That's... Worrying.

 **The Entire Circus** : Oh yeah! You and Keebs are coming too!

 **Blues Clues** : _We what_

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:37 AM**

**The Spikey Ahogay** : I'm going to ~scream~

 **The Fluffy** **Ahogay** : What's wrong?

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Is it Izuru?

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : It's not Izuru. It's still these fucking tests.

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Izuru needs to be tested too, and they decided to test me and see if any of his talents leak through when he's not fronting.

 **The Hope Ahogay** : He hasn't been in class since the start of the week! I've been worried about you two :(

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Sorry Nagi. Don't worry; it'll be over on the day of the festival. They may be cruel enough to experiment on a child and lie about what it'll do and they may be cruel enough to not let said child go home after he's conscious for a little bit after a surgery on his brain, sobbing and begging to be let go, but they aren't cruel enough to keep us from the festival!

 **The Piano Ahogay** :

 **The Hope Ahogay** :

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** :

 **The Detective Ahogay** :

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** :

 **The Book Ahogay** :

 **The Robot Ahogay** :

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Whoops

 **The Spikey Ahogay** deleted one message  


 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Anyways.  


 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Do I say good night or good morning?  


 **The Spikey** **Ahogay** : Izuru thinks I should say "Shut the fuck up and go to sleep" so I guess that's what we're doing. Bye.

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Night Haji! Goodnight Izuru!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : See you in the morning everyone!

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Makoto it _is_ morning.

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : _You know what I mean._


	48. Chapter 48

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:31 PM**

**Tech Bean** : I had the urge to make a chat with Hinata's class and Saihara's class as well as ours, but then the knowledge of the sheer chaos that would cause overpowered my idiotic thoughts from sleep deprivation.

 **Ruoe Dad** : You should really get to sleep sooner! Everyone needs a full eight hours of rest!

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I haven't had a good night's sleep since I was like ten

 **Sherlock Homo** : I never have ;-;  


 **Tech** **Bean** : We get it, you're emo

 **Sherlock Homo** : Shut the heck up you Pidge and Entrapta kinnie  


 **Tech Bean** : Well at least I don't kin Keith and Kyoko

 **Egg Lesbin** : Loving the tea, guys  


 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Komaru, you don't even drink tea  


 **Egg Lesbin** :  


 **Long-Suffering** **Egg** : I now realise my mistake

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**6:17 PM**

**The Entire Circus** : Rantaro should adopt me :(

 **Guacamole** : I'm totally down but also why

 **The Entire Circus** : I have no family, you have large family. C'mon, it's simple math! I thought you were smart!  


 **Guacamole** : Wait who told you that? You can sue them for misinformation

 **Blues Clues** : Don't talk down about yourself!

 **Guacamole** : I literally lost all of my sisters while traveling around the world. And checked the lost and found at the airport before I called the cops. You know this; you're the one who found them.

 **Blues Clues** :

 **Guacamole** : Also you're a fucking hypocrite

 **Blues Clues** :

 **Blues Clues** : Can't argue there,,,

 **The Entire Circus** : You made Shuumai sad! The adoptions off!

 **Roomba** : Kokichi! It isn't kind to lie to your older brother.

 **The Entire Circus** : I said the adoption was off, kii-boy!

 **Roomba** : Yes, but previously analyzed data shows you think of him as such regardless! Therefore is it not the social etiquette to refer to him as your brother?

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **Blues Clues** : Kii, I think you embarrassed him

 **Roomba** : Ah! That was not my intention! I'm sorry, Kokichi!  


 **The Entire** **Circus** : Nishishishi~! I'm not embarrassed! Who said I was embarrassed? They're a liar!

 **Blues Clues** : I was the one who said you were embarrassed

 **The Entire Circus** : My point still stands

 **Blues Clues** :  


 **Guacamole** : How did we go from adoption to calling a professional detective a liar?

 **The Entire Circus** : I like to cause problems on purpose!

 **Blues Clues** : And I'm still in training!

 **Guacamole** : Training shmaining, Shuichi. You brought my sisters home, so you're better then literally the entire force (excluding Kiri, since she wasn't assigned to the case)

 **Blues Clues** : I'm wh

 **The Entire Circus** : Great, you've gone and killed my boyfriend! You asshole, I've only got one other!

 **Roomba** : I'm offended I am only a back up! That's robophobic!

 **The Entire Circus** : Awww, don't worry Kii-boy! I still wuv you!!! With all of my wittwe baby heawt <3

 **Roomba** :

 **Roomba** : Did you call yourself short

 **The Entire Circus** : _THAT WAS NOT THE POINT OF THAT MESSAGE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO HYPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> I'M GETTING A DRAWING PAD VERY VERY SOON AND JUST  
> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
> I CAN'T WAIT TO DRAW MAKOTO AND HIS GUCCI GANG


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited festival chapter!! This one jumps POVs more than once, so I hope it isn't too difficult to keep up with!!  
> Um, small angst warning? And a bit of transphobia/misgendering/the whole kit and caboodle :/  
> Man, I really enjoy hurting these characters more than I should even though I can't write it.
> 
> Just be warned, there is some emotional whiplash during a POV change
> 
> Hooooooo boy do I regret my existance. Anyways, enjoy the chapter. (Just a side note: Hajime had to do all the talent's tests twice, once for Izuru and once to see if he could access them, which is why he's so... Y'know.)
> 
> Just a restate in case you missed it: TW transphobia, misgendering, implied/referenced child neglect/abuse
> 
> I'm a feral combination of the kandicore, dark academia, and cottagecore aesthetics and you can't stop me

Makoto hummed happily, clinging to Byakuya's arm as the pair walked down a row of stalls, each containing a highschooler eager to present their talent. A few looked nervous, evidently thinking they hadn't done well on the tests administored immediately beforehand. Luckily, Makoto had finished his tests the day before, and his boyfriend had a talent you couldn't really evaluate.

They had stopped by Teruteru's stand, recommended by Hajime, and Makoto picked up some dango and takoyaki, while Byakuya just grabbed a coffee. A few times, Makoto spotted Komaru walking with Toko, who was excitedly telling her about her books, whether at her stand or just wandering around.

Nagito and Hajime were in the dorms, since Hajime was still completely worn out from trying to use Izuru's talents. He claimed he'd be back on his feet by the second half of the day, but Makoto wasn't completely convinced. The older teen looked like he hadn't slept a wink in days, and he was beat up like he'd been sparring with Sakakura or Sakura for hours. Nagito, of course, refused to leave his side.

Makoto's attention was seized by Ryota's stand, and he gently tugged Byakuya with him towards it. Imposter was there, sitting next to Ryota, their voice hushed as they spoke. Ryota unfurled from his hunched over position when he saw the two approach, and he offered Makoto a small smile.

"Is it alright if I pick this up?" Makoto asked, gesturing with the hand not intertwined with Byakuya's towards a small tablet, playing a series of clips from what Ryota had animated. 

Ryota shook his head. "Sorry, Makoto, I just can't have the glass smudging." He leaned his head on Imposter's side.

Makoto deflated for a moment, before perking back up. "It looks incredible!" He grinned, leaning closer to get a better look at how smooth the movement was. "Good job! I'll see you later!" He gave a small wave to the two at the stand, Byakuya shooting a glare at Imposter and a reluctant wave to Ryota after Makoto nudged his side with his elbow.

"Where are we headed now?" Byakuya looked down at Makoto. "Can it be a stand that is..." He looked over at the stage, where Ibuki and Sayaka were setting up their equipment to play for a growing audience, a couple other third years and kids from outside of the school that Makoto didn't know helping them. "...Far, far away from that?"

Makoto giggled, using one hand to cover up his laugh. "Sure! We could head into the library? I know one of the third years has a brewing talent, so we could pick up some tea or coffe from them if you'd like." Byakuya nodded, allowing Makoto to pull him along in the direction of the stand.

A cheery but exhausted girl running the stall handed them their orders, and the two headed inside.

Byakuya sat in the corner of the couch, Makoto curled up tightly on his side, cradling his steamy cup. He unashamedly stared at Byakuya's face while the taller boy read his book, eventually looking away as he put his now empty cup on the table in front of them, before wrapping his arms around Byakuyas waist and shutting his eyes, letting himself fall asleep.

* * *

Admittedly, Shuichi was nervous. He had finished his mandatory period manning his stall earlier, so he was free to walk around with Kiibo and Kokichi the rest of the day. The only problem? His uncle was there. With his parents on video call, since they couldn't be bothered to come.

"Honey," his mom started, "why'd you cut your hair short?" He almost snorted at the fake concern in her voice. Any second now, and- "Darling, you make a much prettier figure with it longer. A daughter fit for a star like me!" She leaned and kissed his father's cheek.

He winced at every word she spoke, glad that his uncle had pulled him away from the festival to get some privacy so Kokichi and Kiibo wouldn't hear this.

"I agree," his father spoke up, one arm around his mother. "We may have gone through some rough patches-" So that's what child neglect is called now. "-but your mother and I just want what's best for you. Why do you always have to fight us? Can't you see that we love you?" A spike of guilt stabbed Shuichi through the heart, and his vision went blurry as tears started to gather in his eyes.

"Oh, hun," his mother crooned, "don't cry, it really just ruins your natural beauty. Did you get my messages about my line of cosmetics?" No, he blocked her number a _long_ time ago."It's wildly poular over here now. I've got an eyeshadow palette that'd compliment your features wonderfully!" She clapped her hands together, as if the matter was decided. "I'll send it over right away, along with a few other things I think you'd like!" He wouldn't like them. He knew Tsumugi and Kaede would though, maybe Miu too, so he'd... He'd take them. For his classmates. A deep breath in. His uncle was trying, even though he accidentally referred to himas his neice more than once, he was making an effort, and he had helped Shuichi with all the legal bits. Let the breath out.

"I think our daughter's in her rebellious phase," his father stage-whispered to his mother. "She asked me to call her our _son_ instead of our daughter! And now she has the whole hair thing! You see where I'm going with this?" His mother's eyes widened.

"Goodness, she is! Maybe we oughtta pop over, knock some sense into her-"

"N- No! You don't- you don't have to t- take the time o- out of your very busy schedules j- just to come here," and constantly bully me, he added silently, scrubbing his sleeves roughly over the tears that dripped down his chin.

His uncle gave him an apologetic look, load of good that did, and flipped his phone around to talk to Shuichi's mother and father by himself, shooing Shuichi off with one hand.

Clumsily, he stumbled back towards the festival, spotting Kokichi and Kiibo sitting at a table, the former grinning triumphantly as the latter was frustrated over his loss at some card game they were playing.

Kokichi turned towards him, his joyous expression quickly fading when he saw Shuichi, and oh boy, if that didn't just make him feel like the world's biggest asshole.

"Hey, Shuumai, what's wrong?" Kokichi looked worried, the genuine concern flooding his voice making Shuichi feel both warm and fuzzy and incredibly guilty. "Shuumai?" Kokichi tugged his sleeve gently, pulling his attention towards the purple haired teen in front of him. Kokichi looked back at Kiibo, who was standing beside him, arms moving erratically as he tried to think of a way to make Shuichi feel better. "Listen, just between us, you can tell Keebs and I everything, okay? No judgement, no anger, and no pity party. I promise."

Shuichi hated that that was all it took for his dam to burst, tears flooding down his face as he clung to the two in front of him, their careful reassurances only serving to make him cry more, sobs shaking his shoulders.

* * *

Nagito sat next to Hajime, playing The Untitled Goose Game on Chiaki's switch, as Hajime twirled his fingers absentmindedly through Nagito's hair. 

They both loved the game, since it let everyone live out their deepest fantasy: Being a horrible goose in a town full of unsuspecting victims.

Hajime had told everyone he'd be up by noon, but it was nearing dinner and the other teen still couldn't move without a hiss of pain. Izuru refused to front, claiming that his inability to feel pain would only lead to him aggravating the injuries. Nagito shifted, the feeling of his hair pulled back in a ponytail still odd to him. It wasn't uncomfortable, and Hajime had made it very clear he thought it looked good on him. Plus, the fact that Hajime couldn't see the screen otherwise certainly helped.

Chiaki and Sonia had stopped by earlier, checking to make sure that Hajime was alright. Surprisingly enough, they even checked to make sure tra- No, Hajime said he couldn't think like that. Kindly enough, they had taken time out of their date to help him swap the icepacks resting on the worst of Hajime's bruises.

Nagito sighed, wishing he could just pause the game and lay down next to Hajime for the rest of the day, but he'd end up jostling the other teen and causing him pain, and that was something he'd avoid at all costs. Speaking of avoiding, Hajime took off his binder, right?

A quick pat to Hajime's shoulder as he swapped out the icepacks disguised as a reassurance revealed that he had, in fact, taken it off, much to Nagito's relief. He set the controller up to charge, as the battery was running out, and started to head out, before Hajime's voice stopped him.

"Hold on," he called hoarsely. Nagito turned to see him struggling to sit up, and quickly hurried to help him. Hajime frowned. "I don't like being this helpless..." He murmured, glaring down at his bandaged hands as though that would magically heal them. "Would- Would you mind... Staying?" Hajime asked, looking off to the side, embarrassed, and absolutely adorable.

"Sure thing!" Nagito chirped, settling next to him and scrolling through his phone as the two chatted, before exhaustion overtook Hajime, leaving Nagito free to scooch closer without fear of Hajime pulling away, since he'd naturally position himself in a less painful way.

A few minutes was all he needed to join his boyfriend in slumber, glad they had no school tomorrow because there was no way either of them was getting up before ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot  
> I'm a disappointment
> 
> I have so many regrets
> 
> I'm so sorry about the Shuichi clip  
> My writing kinda just,,, got away from me, y'know? 
> 
> If anything's wrong/offensive/mispelled, please let me know
> 
> If you feel like any part of this was too horrendous to exist, like I am, please let me know
> 
> Oo yikes, I got my first hate comment on this chapter, gotta go delete that-
> 
> Honestly, thank you guys so much, you're way too nice I'm just ;-;


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hskdjskshsk screw uteruses I wanna get rid of mine
> 
> It is _unnecessary_ and I _do not like it._

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:37 PM**

**Hajimeme Gaynaya** : If Kotoko calls my red eye "Totally not adorbs!" one more time, Kirigiri'll be investigating the murder of a child next

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Hajime calm down

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : I AM CALM

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :/

 **Hajimeme** **Gaynata** : ...Okay I see your point. I'm gonna get some orange juice.

* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:10 PM**

**Bike Dad** : Were we almost witnesses to crimes

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Yeah but technically we're all already criminals so eh

 **Bike Dad** : We're what

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Well yeah, we're actively sheltering several criminals, including a yakuza boss and a serial killer. That's pretty darn illegal

 **Rule** **Dad** :

 **Tech Bean** : Gods not again

 **Tech Bean** : Stop killing my dad, you arse

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Not my fault he's allergic to broken rules!

 **Tech** **Bean** : It _is_ your fault that you keep breaking them though

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : (￣ヘ￣;)

 **Sherlock** **Homo** : Hajime murder is not the answer

 **Tech Bean** : Murder is the question, the answer is yes

 **Sherlock Homo** : N O

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : Y E S

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**6:28 PM**

**The Detective Ahogay** : Hajime seriously though don't kill the children

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : ',:)

 **The Detective Ahogay** : _Hajime_

 **The Hope Ahogay** : _HAJIME'S DOING WHAT TO OUR KIDS_

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Oho your what _  
_

 **The Hope** **Ahogay** : :3

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Aren't the warriors like ten? That's more than half our ages

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Bitch I'd adopt you and Makoto. Age doesn't matter when it comes to adoption if you're a mom friend

 **The Detective Ahogay** : :0

 **The Detective** **Ahogay** : I feel so loved ;-;

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**3:45 PM**

**The Spikey Ahogay** : Guys I just got a visit from the people in the reserve course?? They?? Apologised?? But like?? Why?? Were they covered?? In whipped cream and tar??

 **The Spikey** **Ahogay** : Guys please Izuru won't tell me anything I know he helped but what did y'all _do_

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : We just dealt with some trash, don't worry.

 **The Hope** **Ahogay** : There's nothing to worry about, Hajime!! The problem's been solved!! :))))

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : ,,,I'm scared,,,

 **The Detective Ahogay** : :DD

 **The Detective Ahogay** : We didn't do anything illegal, don't worry dad

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : That makes me worry more, guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0  
> Chapter fifty y'all


	51. Chapter 51

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**7:59 AM**

**Hajimeme Gaynata** : No guys seriously

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : What did you _do_  


 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Only what was necessary :)

 **Hajimeme** **Gaynata** : C'mon, enough with the vague answers

 **Sherlock Homo** : I think we should tell him

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Fiiiine  


 **Long-Suffering** **Egg** : So we kinda maybe had Fuji hack the school's security system to find out who was being a jerk to you and proceeded to start a very much one sided prank war? And uh. I guess the most recent one was enough to break them, because they apologised.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : You care that much?

 **Tech Bean** : No fucking shit dude

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : That was a bit of a harsh way to phrase it, but yeah  


 **Sherlock Homo** : It was Makoto's idea! We just helped.  


 **Long-Suffering** **Egg** : Way to throw me under the bus, Shuichi

 **Sherlock Homo** : Oh hush you ninny  


 **Long-Suffering Egg** : :(  


 **Sherlock** **Homo** : Anyways, Izuru actually volunteered to help. So did the warriors, actually, and Komaeda-Kun too.

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** :

 **Hope Bagels** : You made Hajime sad ಠ_ಠ

 **Hope Bagels** : Oh never mind! Worthless trash like me easily misinterpreted; he's crying because he's happy!

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** deleted a message

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : You're worth a whole lot

 **Hope Bagels** :   


**Tech Bean** : You guys are literally in the same room speak out loud

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : No

 **Tech Bean** : Fair

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**9:27 PM**

**#Hope4President2020** : I fear my username doesn't fit anymore :(

 **Oramge** **Juimce** : Hmm

 **Oramge Juimce** : Well, it was based off of the poor choice in candidates for the election in the US, so since that living Cheeto insists the election isn't over I think we can keep it for a little bit to spite him  


 **#Hope4President2020** : He's doing what??  


 **Oramge** **Juimce** : Yeah I don't get politics either ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **The OG Gaymer** : The only politics I know are from Fullmetal Alchemist...

 **Oramge Juimce** : Oh! Ryota told me about FMA; of course Izuru had to spoil the whole thing. I'm still watching it though! The animation and character development is just wow  


 **The OG Gaymer** : I didn't even notice how much Ed had grown up until I rewatched it and it was just a big mind blower... I think  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I'm being honest, I don't quite understand when people have something spoiled and then say there's no reason to watch/see/read it. Like, you can still enjoy it?? I have a majority of things spoiled for me before I read/watch/see them, but it's still enjoyable. That happened with Banana Fish, all of Danganronpa, D.Gray-Man, One Piece, My Hero Academia, etcetera. Anywho, sorry if that sounded rude. If your of the opinion spoilers render the enjoyment of something null, please explain! I'd really like to know why people think like that.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhhhh sorry this chapter is a little ranty at the beginning  
> I recently started getting more nice HP (not hope's peak, just to clarify) headcanons on my page, so bit by bit I've gotten back into the fandom while still hating the author, but I've been getting floods of toxic stuff too, putting down all the best characters and raising all the abusive jerkwads on a messed-up sort of pedestal.

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**6:37 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : You know when you hate the author and the books but you love the fandom and the fanfiction?

 **Hajimeme** **Gaynata** : Harry Potter?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : ,,,yeah

 **Tech Bean** : Rip

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I wanna like the actual series, I really do, it has some great points, like the expulsion is worse than death thing, or the fact that the Weasley twins enchanted snowballs to repeatedly smack Voldemort in the face!

 **Tech** **Bean** : Also how poor Remus was essentially named Wolfy McWolf before he even became a werewolf

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : And then I remember the author, and the way she made the ONLY prominent characters that weren't white _incredibly_ racist and stereotyped. The Chinese girl had two _Korean surnames_ , she named him _Shacklebolt_ for goodness sakes! Don't even get me STARTED on the issues with the other magical species. And that's not to mention the issue with all the LGBT stuff.

 **Sherlock** **Homo** : ?

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Rita Skeeter is a manly woman who disguises herself to spy on children. Take a guess there. And the other magical species are supposed to represent other races, which is why they're so heavily discriminated and why Hermione, one of the only ones who speaks up for them, is played off as a ridiculous activist who's notions and ideas are stupid, since, y'know, awful author.

 **Tech Bean** : You forgot the part about her tweets

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Oh gods the tweets. I'm indescribably happy that the HP fandom collectively decided her tweets aren't actually canonical

 **Reigen Arataka** : :0

 **Reigen** **Arataka** : Rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Sorry Hiro, the rant's just about over

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I'm just gonna go complain to Byakuya about the rest of it

 **Reigen Arataka** : :(

 **Cries In** **Gucci** : Feel free to, Makoto.

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : I love you!!!!

 **Egg Lesbin** : Aww, I missed a Rowling rant from Makoto? Bummer

* * *

**We Make Too Many References**

**6:53 PM**

**The Entire Circus** : AA

 **Roomba** : AAA

 **Blues Clues** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Daedalus** : Oh cut the flirting simps

 **Blues Clues** :

 **The Entire Circus** :

 **Roomba** :

 **Daedalus** : Fucking wimpy simps.

 **The Entire Circus** : WAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THAT'S SO MEAN!!!!! KIRU-MOM, THE BITCH IS BULLYING US!!!!!

 **Ultimate Mom Friend** : Kids, play nice

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Miu, be nice to Shuichi and Kiibo

 **The Entire Circus** : :0

 **The Entire** **Circus** : >:0

 **Daedalus** : Yeah be insulted

 **The Entire Circus** : Wow okay fuck you too

 **Daedalus** : I have a girlfriend!

 **The Entire Circus** : Ew!!! Nasty!!! Shuumai, Kiibs, she's being gross!!!!!!!!!!

 **Blues Clues** : Oh boy

 **Roomba** : Miu! That is a rather vulgar thing to say!

 **Daedalus** : Really Kiibo? And to think, I thought I could trust you...

 **The Entire Circus** : Trust no one!

 **Blues Clues** : I'm just,,, gonna go,,, get a coffee,,, lots of caffeine to revive,,,

 **Roomba** : Revive what?

 **Blues Clues** : Me and my will to live after that trainwreck of a conversation

 **The Science Show! Piano!** : Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a side note, Charlie, from HP, is absolutely an ace aro king  
> His brothers were all freaking out about their crushes and he was just like, "GUYS. _DRAGONS."_


	53. Chapter 53

**We Make Too Many References**

**4:27 AM**

**ShinGUCCI** : The time has come, darling  


 **Guacamole** : I don't know what this means and I'm scared  


 **ShinGUCCI** changed **Guacamole** 's username  


 **Rantaro Armani** :  


 **ShinGUCCI** :

 **Rantaro Armani** : _It's beautiful_

 **The Entire Circus** : The fuck did I just watch?

 **Blues Clues** : Something wonderful

 **Roomba** : Shuichi I don't get it  


 **Blues Clues** : It's how unfairly rich people flirt  


 **The Entire Circus** : Shuumai _you're_ unfairly rich people  


 **Blues Clues** :  


 **Blues** **Clues** : Shut the hell your mouth

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:31 AM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : That's it, I quit

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : That's the ballgame  


 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Sorry I couldn't resist the reference - what's wrong?  


 **The Fluffy** **Ahogay** : I just found Hope's Peak cosplayers 

**The Detective Ahogay** : Tsmoggi

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : _I saw someone cosplaying me and Kiri in a romance skit_  


 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : _We're both so not-straight it isn't even funny_ _  
_

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Ew it's the straights

 **The Book** **Ahogay** : Homophobia is hatred, heterophobia is common sense

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Guys that's not nice :(  


 **The Megaphone** **Ahogay** : Makoto, that's kind of the point,,,

 **The Piano Ahogay** : I'mlatetothepartybut LET'S GO LESBIANS

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : YEAH  



	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the fact that Peko and Shigaraki have the same color scheme

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:28 PM**

**The Book Ahogay** : One of these days I'm going to snap and punt Hifumi across the campus

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : What's wrong?

 **The Book** **Ahogay** : He said fanfiction is better than the original

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : That's only true in a select few cases :(

 **The Spikey** **Ahogay** : Just tell him how the only reason Fifty Shades Of Grey exists is because of 9/11

 **The Book Ahogay** : What the hell do you mean

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : Well, Gerard Way witnessed the twin towers falling while on a ferry to new york city, which inspired him to start My Chemical Romance. As a result, Ms Meyer used him and the band’s music for inspiration for Twilight. Ms James wrote a Twilight fanfic that eventually became the best selling book Fifty Shades Of Grey.

 **The Hope Ahogay** : Hajime, love of my life, dearest of dears, my light in the dark, why the actual _fuck_ is that offhand information for you??

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : ;)

 **The Detective Ahogay** : It's probably because of Izuru,,,

 **The Piano Ahogay** : Don't ruin their fun, Shuichi!

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Ah, sorry Kaede

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**5:49 PM**

**The Book Ahogay** : MISTAKES HAVE BEEN MADE

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : What happened?

 **The Fluffy** **Ahogay** : She did what Hajime said but uh

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Hifumi wants revenge

 **The Detective Ahogay** : Luckily, he's friends with Makoto, so he won't do anything too drastic, since you're dating his sister.

 **The Piano** **Ahogay** : Maybe this wasn't the best idea, what with the amount of sway he holds in so many fandoms; he could bring down sales for your books if he really tried.

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Nah, people love her stories too much, he'd just damage his own reputation

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Besides, if he _does_ do anything mean, I'll take a page out of Toko's book (not literally babe dw) and punt him

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : Not the best plan but you have my blessings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's a little late, my muse decked me in the face. On the bright side, I got around thirty pages on each of my stories, so :D
> 
> On a sadder note, the next chapter won't be up until the weekend :(  
> We've got a unit centered on note taking and I hate note taking, so I naturally put it off until last minute, so I have to cram now ;-;


	55. Chapter 55

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**3:47 PM**

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Anyone else vibe with the song Saint Bernard by Lincoln an odd amount

 **Tech Bean** : YES

 **Egg Lesbin** : Sorta? More with Ghosting by Mother Mother  


**Byakuya's Personal Simp** : I like Oh Ana  


**Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : I _love_ Oh Ana!  


**H2oh No You** **Didn't** : Gee I wonder why

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : I prefer Under My Skin by Jukebox The Ghost  


**Long-Suffering** **Egg** : And Sweet Hibiscus Tea?

 **Hajimeme Gaynata** : ...Yeah

 **Tech Bean** : Hm  


**Long-Suffering Egg** : ?  


**Tech Bean** changed two usernames

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : Was this really the time for that?  


**Nyajime** **Hinyata** :

 **NyagitOwO KOwOmaeda** : What's wrong Hajime?

 **NyagitOwO KOwOmaeda** : O h 

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Beautiful

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : Do you take constructive criticism?

 **Tech Bean** : Absolutely not

 **NyagitOwO KOwOmaeda** : Hakxjsjdjsk  


**Tech Bean** : :)

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**5:29 PM**

**The Spikey Ahogay** : Who wants cookies?

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : ME

 **The Detective Ahogay** : I'll take some for my class  


**The Megaphone Ahogay** : I'd like a few!!!  


**The Spikey** **Ahogay** : Okay cool, because I just stress baked like a hundred

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : A hundred cookies isn't that bad, don't worry

 **The Spikey Ahogay** :  


**The Fluffy** **Ahogay** : You didn't

 **The Spikey Ahogay** : I totally did

 **The Piano Ahogay** : A hundred batches????????  


**The Spikey** **Ahogay** : (・–・;)ゞ

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : I'll take the leftovers

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : Makoto no  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one's a little short, I'm kinda flooded with work atm, but my big dumb brain decided this would be the optimal time to bake like eight different things, so :/
> 
> I'm tempted to make vent fics lol


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know when someone sits too close to you and you're just trying not to touch them but also you don't want to be rude because then they'll be mad but you can hear their breathing and they're trying to talk but it just grates on your ears so much you want to rip them off?

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:37 PM**

**Nyajime Hinyata** : Day twelve of trying to convince Izuru I can be trusted to walk into the fruit aisle without buying all the oranges

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : _Can_ you be trusted though?  


**Nyajime** **Hinyata** : Oh absolutely not

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : Still trying to convince him though  


**Tech** **Bean** : You're telling me that every single time you walk into the fruit aisle you either buy all the oranges or Izuru fronts?

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : Pretty much, yeah

 **Cries In Gucci** : You plebes lead such... Odd lives.  


**Nyajime** **Hinyata** : Izuru could tear down the Togami empire wearing a blindfold and both hands tied behind his back, don't test me bitch

 **Long-Suffering Egg** : Cool your jets Hajime jeez  


**Nyajime Hinyata** : ಠ︵ಠ

 **Sherlock** **Homo** : Is Hajime threatening to sic Izuru on someone again?

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : ...No?

 **Sherlock Homo** : Wanna try again?

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : I wasn't actually going to?

 **Nyajime Hinyata** : That's the best you're going to get; take it or leave it.

 **Sherlock Homo** : ...It'll do.

* * *

**Gaymers And Co**

**6:03 PM**

**The OG Gaymer** : Don't you just love it when women...

 **\\(≧▽≦)/** : IBUKI LOVES IT VERY MUCH WHEN WOMEN

 **The OG Gaymer** : She gets it... I think  


**Oramge Juimce** : I think Ibuki gets anything when it comes to women  


**\\(≧▽≦)/** : IBUKI CAN CONFIRM  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've run out of fics to read for my main fandoms
> 
> What has this pandemic _done?_
> 
> On a side note, I'm thinking about starting a longer project for one of my fandoms, but I don't really have any ideas atm. If I do figure out what I want to do, I'll let you guys know and this story will probably be updated like once a week during that time rather than the three days thing I have right now? I dunno I'm kinda just trying and failing to figure things out right now, I apologise if this doesn't make sense.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crocheting Timcanpy  
> (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
> 
> It's almost funny how bad I am at literally everything I genuinely enjoy

**Ahogays Unite**

**4:10 PM**

**The Fluffy Ahogay** : Kotoko's teamed up with Masaru to spam my PMs with puns ;-;

 **The Fluffy** **Ahogay** : If I hear one more I'm actually going to scream

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : How punfortunate  


**The Fluffy Ahogay** : One day. I am going to snap. And you will never hear from me again.  


**The Spikey** **Ahogay** : Looking forward to it!

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** : 

**The Detective Ahogay** : Why are we bullying Makoto?

 **The Piano Ahogay** : He's punable to withstand the punderful jokes

 **The Fluffy Ahogay** :   


**The Detective** **Ahogay** : Sounds like a punfortunate situation

 **The Megaphone Ahogay** : I already made that one  


**The Detective Ahogay** : :(  


* * *

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**4:17 PM**

**Hatsune Miku** : Why in the ever loving FUCK is Makoto screaming?

 **Sherlock** **Homo** : (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

 **Hatsune Miku** : ... I don't think I want to know anymore.

 **Tech Bean** : I think it's got something to do with the fact that the warriors got phones from Izuru last week

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : It also _totes_ has nothing to do with the fact that I visited them yesterday!  


**Hatsune** **Miku** : ...What did you do?

 **Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party!** : Are you Jared, age nineteen? I, like, _just_ said I have nothing to do with it!

 **Bike Dad** : I saw vine references?

 **Rule Dad** : Bro I thought you were doing your homework?

 **Bike Dad** : u H

 **Bike Dad** : Gotta jet bye  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys have anything you'd specifically like to see? Like certain characters interacting, different usernames, a new scenario, etc.


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever take a moment, sit back, evaluate your life, and realise you're the expendable friend? The one that would be left behind if another friend couldn't take everyone somewhere, the one that can't make joking insults or affectionate pet names like "loser" because you're not close enough for them to realise you're not just insulting them? That if you disappeared from their life or moved without saying goodbye, it's pretty unlikely they'd notice for a while? And if they did, they wouldn't be too worried?  
> That's just my constant state of being ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

**Heteros Can't Explain This One**

**5:17 PM**

**Tech Bean** : I'm pretty sure Makoto has a fidget spinner

**Egg Lesbin** : Wow can't believe my brother's a fucking loser

**Long-Suffering Egg** : tHEY'RE C O O L , KOMARU

**Egg Lesbin** : ...Sure. Cool. Let's go with that.

**Long-Suffering** **Egg** : >:((((

**Tech Bean** : Hate to break it to you, but those stopped being cool the same year they started to

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Shhhh

**Long-Suffering Egg** : It makes a nice noise and I love it

**Tech Bean** : ',:/

**Long-Suffering** **Egg** : >:///

**Wheel Of Fortune** : Why's Naeggster mad?

**Wheel Of Fortune** : Ooh I like the new nick

**Long-Suffering Egg** : Komaru and Fuji are implying fidget spinners are lame!!

**Tech Bean** : She's implying nothing; you just refuse to accept it

**Long-Suffering Egg** : >:00

**Long-Suffering** **Egg** : THERE'S NOTHING TO ACCEPT BECAUSE YOU ARE BOTH _WRONG_

**Egg Lesbin** : ',:/

**Long-Suffering Egg** : (ヘ･_･)ヘ┳━┳

**Long-Suffering Egg** : (┛✧Д✧))┛彡┻━┻

**Tech Bean** : Lmao loser

**Long-Suffering Egg** : If I wasn't sitting on his lap and blocking his hands I'd be very upset Byakuya isn't defending me, but current events being as they are, fUCK YOU

**Tech Bean** : No thanks, I'm asexual and you're taken

**Long-Suffering Egg** :

**Egg** **Lesbin** : You broke him :|

**Tech Bean** : G o o d

**Long-Suffering Egg** : >:0

* * *

**Ahogays Unite**

**5:29 PM**

**The Piano Ahogay** : How to tell Komaeda-Senpai held Hajime's hand: he's sitting at the bottom of the stairs with a sprained ankle 

**The Spikey** **Ahogay** : IS HE OKAY??

**The Piano Ahogay** : He says he is but uh

**The Spikey Ahogay** : He'd rather die before bothering an ultimate  


**The Spikey Ahogay** : I'll be there to pick him up in five  


**The Piano Ahogay** : He keeps insisting you don't have to and that he'll be fine, but I'll make sure he doesn't wander off!  


**The Spikey Ahogay** : Thanks Kaede!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm not doing so hot at the moment, especially when it comes to inspiration, so I'm sorry to say but this might not update as often :(  
> Usually I can at least push out a few hundred words even if I'm not really feeling it, but I think I've squeezed myself dry? If that makes sense. I've exhausted a lot of the stuff I wanted to do with this fic and I'm kinda left piecing together scraps like toddlers do with playdough to form some unholy amalgamation of random ideas.  
> On the plus side, it'd mean more time to work on my own stories and the big fic I have planned (I don't really have much planned for it though lol), but writing this is a lot of fun, do I really don't want to give up on it. Things you'd like to see would be helpful, but if you'd rather just sit back and see how it pans out, that's fine too.  
> I've been updating around one every three days, and I'll try to keep that up, don't worry!  
> TL;DR  
> I'm running out of ideas halp


End file.
